semper-fi.

i have to blog this:

2006-08-20T23:02:00.000+08:00

i know im lagging hell alot.
thats bcos im planning to shift blog space.
i totally hate the outlook of this blog - im a sucker for beauty and design.
but its jus tt im finding for a designer to help me. anyone?

anyways, i have to copy and paste this from jus' blog:

About
Justicia (or, Ranciel/Rancielle) was born to a loving Catholic family on the morning of January 8, 1986, and grew up on the sunny island-country called Singapore.

A lover of life, she believes that life is beautiful and that love is a wondrous thing. Throughout her life, she has four things she cannot live without: films, music, tornadoes and tea.

She did triple science back in Raffles Girls’ School, because she wanted to be a tornado chaser. As she grew up, she realised the tragic truth: tornadoes do not visit Singapore. But her dream of being in the eye of a tornado has survived the years and is still very much alive today.

Waking up to the smell of coffee every day for the past 20 years has helped develop her phobia for hot coffee. She claims that tea triumphs over coffee victoriously anytime. However, what might be interesting is that she loves Coffee Bean’s ice-blended coffee the same. See, she cannot make up her mind.

A Capricornian in both her sun and moon signs, she is a true blue Saturn citizen by default. But she would like to think that she is not as pessimistic and traditional like all her Saturn cousins. In fact, she is an optimistic and radical individual. She always reacts to amusing incidents with the most hearty and appreciative laughter; you can hear her from a mile away.

Easily inspired by the people and the things around her, this passionate and driven lady is never hesitant to take the road less travelled because it has much to offer her and much left to be discovered.

Currently reading English Language and Linguistics at the University of York (UK), she is a freelance writer and an anglophile (if only, this could become a full-time job). Besides being an English advocate, Film rules the other part of her. She graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic’s Film, Sound and Video (FSV) course in 2006. Just when everyone thought she was going to enter the media industry with a vengeance, she announced that she was going to leave for the United Kingdom to read English. This is she, the unpredictable. But all the more endearing, she hopes.

Oh, and she hates carrots, pumpkins, egg plants and any food/fruit orange and/or purple with a passion. “Food shouldn’t be too colourful,” she insists. What a random topic to touch on, she knows.

Anyway, Justicia has big dreams to fulfill, so she is currently working on increasing her capacity to fulfill them. With an odd sense of humourous seriousness, she is a joy to be around.

She is a daughter, a friend, a student, a writer, and a filmmaker. Five personalities in one petite frame of a woman with a lot to offer life…

…And she smiles and says, “Pleased to meet you.”

now, i hope she's ok wif purple text?

i love you gal...
i will miss you...

riding off in a jet plane.

2006-08-03T20:45:00.000+08:00

my msn nick says:
dare://now - dressing the forbidden city - but first to japan to buy my fundoshi.

just for the record:
ill b riding on a jet plane off to tokyo and hokaiddo.
and ill b back on the 9th - just in time for the ndp.
(not tt im interested in watching it -).

met up wif su yesterday to review the dresser.
hmmmm.
it was a cool talk.
and very amusing and hilarious.
have reflected and noted.

and we are all gearing up for forbidden city.
theres vocal call on the 11th-13th and our design presentation/meet and greet/script read on the 14th and esplanade rehearsal studio.

for all of u out there,
PLS come watch THE FORBIDDEN CITY
starring kit chan and many more!

i have staff discount rates (will check how many %)
but if you would like to go, pls let me know, i can book for u=).

and before i go,
i told su tt i got a tagline to sum up all the productions i did for this yr:
doubtless fundoshi letters with the dresser in the forbidden city!

March - Doubt by ACTION Theatre
April - The Magic Fundoshi by W!ld Rice
May - Man of Letters by Singapore Repertory Theatre (Stage Two)
June/July - The Dresser by Singapore Repertory Theatre (Main Stage)
Aug/Sept - Forbidden City: Portrait of an Empress by Singapore Repertory Theatre (Main Stage Musical)

There you have it -
doubtless fundoshi letters with the dresser in the forbidden city!

cabaret.

2006-07-27T02:17:00.000+08:00

so we finally watched it.
the post outing for the dresser team.
me, sue, michael, adrian, adrian pang, tracie, pam, terry, anton, nicole n family...

i wasnt disappointed wif it.
but lets jus say i wasnt very happy wif it either.

it was jus - okie.

after all the big hoo-ha over it,
i felt that toy's production was below standard and director beatrice did not do justice to the calibre the musical could achieved.

this is beatrice first musical directorial debut no doubt,
but i feel that she shld stick to controversial plays - ie: shopping & f***ing.
jus straight plays.
somehow she lacked a whole lot of musical sense.
even army daze was very shaky when she tried to add musical sequence into it.

im happy for toy that they have broken even.
but with the pricey tix they charge, i expect more.
the whole production quality looks cheap.

no not really actually.
the costume looks lavish,
the cast n crew are spore's brightest,
but i guess its the whole production design outlook.

the set is totally disappointing.
its so cheap.
and the lighting is so mediocal,
judging that its a musical.
even man of letters set & lighting was so much more interesting!

cabaret did not give me the "wow" feel that other musicals did.
altho i applaud the kit kat klubbers dancers,
there were couple of occasions when they went out of timing,
where their formation was off,
where positioning were unbalance
and energy low.

i am however in love with emma, jason, karen, daniel and celine!
my o my!
my dear celine!
she is so damn bloody gd.
im so proud of her.

emma is jus gorgeous.
her singing was so lovely.
and so is jason.
the star-crossed love story btw karen and daniel were sweet.
and i really love the pineapple song.
and also the comedy btw karen, daniel and celine.

i thot the spore actors stood out more than the international star
(the name that toy is using to attract hype) - fei xiang.
hes jus OK.

hes portrayal of the EMCEE was weak and uninteresting.
i was expecting more enthusiasm and energy in his chracter but he chose to play it mellow.

i also had a problem with the scripting and/or direction.
somehow the whole musical seems very episodic.
the scene changes were ugly - im sorry.
the choice of backdrops and set design was so bad.
i think mr goh shld jus stick to directing and not set designing.
i did not feel any ranchy-ness.
any "flithy, degenerated, dilapidated and dark kit kat klub" as the flyers promised.
the "klub" looked clean and sanitory and no where near "dark".

bcos of a weak staging,
the musical felt choppy and episodic.
it felt segmented and moving off after making a pt.
there was no proper flow which is so essential in musicals.

all in all,
production value was low and quality was so-so.
altho i applaud and love the star acting from the whole ensemble,
the company lacked synergy and chemistry.
i felt that everyone was jus doing their own thing with no interaction.

i give 2 stars out of 5.

a very simple (a)fare.

2006-07-22T01:35:00.000+08:00

woke up incredibly early today.
it was jus the excitement in the air.
i donch know.

but well.
that jus got me even earlier.
her msg was received at 6.30am.
mind tt gal.
and she said "i hope you have lotsa balloons and presents".
im not a kid anymore la.
where got balloons.
but i dun mind the prezzins tho.

i played the longest on the organ today.
dunno.
perhaps it was jus a special feeling.

anyways.
had lunch wif kor at breeks.
after so long of business,
we finally got a chance to have a meal tog.
but in the midst of lunch,
we had to settle work too.
sigh.

then we went to esplanade haagen daz to eat ice cream!
talked abt the company and its new direction!
hahahaha.
im one of the "shareholder" of the company,
but i dun haf to come out a cent.
haha.
thats wat bros are for.
i will leave off kor frm now.
evil grin.

kor went for mtg.
i went to meet sam who was doing a recording at esplanade.
we met up and discussed the video projection for the car/41hrs.
it opens @ the esplanade theatre studio on the 27th july.

and then it was back to the theatre for THE DRESSER.
tonite's perf seems faster and less boring.
hmmm.
prolly bcos there were ppl in the audience i knew.
mom and dad came and watch the show.
so did luky and daniel.
so nice of them to grace the event.

was suppose to join the crew @ spize for supper
but then...
jang. jang. jang.
my core grp leader called me!
surprise surprise!

chey.
i thot they forgot.
how dare them.
dunno whether is they suddenly remember or wat.

so we ended up in holland instead.
it was jus a simple meal
but the company meant more to me than anything.

i love u guys.
thanks for making this day such a memorable day.

and thanks for all the cards and smses.
but i want the presents!
PREZZINS!

21st july.

2006-07-21T00:41:00.000+08:00

Sensitive man and the weakest emotional type in all Zodiacs. Cancer man's emotional and moods change all the time. He never go to get what he wants directly, but he will wait for a chance and opportunity to do so. Once he gets what he wants, he will not loose it, except if he got tired of it by himself.
The most sensitive man who can not stand rejection. He cares what other people feel or think of him. He hates loosing face and he tends to over protected himself, so sometimes people might think he is a cold person.
He could be very funny, very quiet, suddenly very sad. Living with him could be very unexpected, for you will not know what is his next mood. If you like excitement and surprise, you have the right guy and never have a chance to get bored.
He thinks of his home as "nest" and it is the safest place for him. If he feels hurt or depress he will stay at home alone quietly. Once he feels better, he will come out of his retreat and lives normally again. Being a looser is not him.
It is so easy to fall in love with this guy because he is gentle and a very polite guy. His wit and creative mind could win your affection. He will come out from his nest to protect you even if he is not opening himself up to other people much. Not many people will win his heart. His security is only when he has money in his pocket. Once he feels secure then he might think of having a happy family. Even he likes to make and keep money, he is not stingy. Spending money is part of his good image, so he will be happy to spent money to take you out to a very expensive restaurant or buy a jewelry for you.
He is possessive to everything's that he thinks belong to him. Don't try to talk to another cute guy in front of him, he will get suspicion because he is not very secure or confident in himself for this kind of competition. Once you know each other too much, he will start to look for new excitement, but not to worry for he will always think of you. If he thinks you are the true love for him, and you try once to disappear. You will be sure he will come and look for you.
He is a shy guy, but if he likes you. You can get up in the morning and see that he is in front of your house everyday till you go out with him, a very persistent guy.
He likes a secure, cheerful and lively person, confident but at the same time always act proper and appropriate. He likes a secure person, but able to adjust to his rapid changes. A very difficult type to find person indeed.
In the beginning, you and he will be so sugary sweet together and he will only think of you. This so "super romantic" will not last forever, so don't slip this chance. If you are the one who want his interest, then act and make yourself interesting. Be a supportive person and give him compliment sometimes, but not too much till he thinks you are not sincere.
Unlike many other Zodiacs, if he is mad then you better get out of that room. He will calm down by himself. Giving him a slight touch on his shoulders or concerned facial _expression are enough. He loves his mother, so try to be his mother favorite, but do not act like his mother!

I AM A CANCER!
and im proud of it!

GRADUATION 2006!

2006-06-18T13:41:00.000+08:00

ive finally graduated!
i know its clinche to do all those walk down memory lane,
but clinche as it is, i will.

mcm/fsv was sorta my dream course during Os period.
i wanted to go into mcm but realised fsv suited my interest more.
i can still remember the orientation.
i sat next to kenny.
and tt jannie was irriating the hella outta me even tho tt was the first time i saw her.

then year one came.
i will nvr forget those memorable days.
those simple days where we had so much time on our hands.
the bbqs, the lunch outings, the movies...
i really enjoyed year 1.
the lectureres, the modules, the class.

year two came.
not very nice things happened.
not very nice modules.
not very nice lectureres.
but i learnt alot.
i really learnt alot.
time management, ppl management.
ha - anger management.
tolerance management?

it was rotten. indeed.
but ive grown so much frm it.
ive learnt so much frm it.
and tts all abt education isnt it?

thnk god year three was so much betta.
in a way.
but. twas the hellishiest years of fsv.
wats wif spec prepro, afp shoots, postpro all in a row.
it was hell but it was shiok.
talk abt the adrenaline.
yes, tts a pun.
talk abt not slping, or an hr of slp.
jus shld know betta.

im glad we all survived it.
looking back, it was actually very fun.
and it did taught us alot of things that i dun think can b learnt in bks.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yesterday's graduation.
to say the least, i was kinda excited.
the thought of dressing up in suit and tie is kinda refreshing.
and it is amazing how the suit can make you so cautious of urself you jus have to stand up str8 and walk in an "executive" way.
talk abt cloth maketh a man.

received my diploma of merit, my scroll, transcript and cd made by our juniors.
it was quite an experience cos this is my first time actually attending a graduation ceremony.
sec sch one's not counted cos theres no proper procession.

of cos, the star of the day was our golden gal - justicia phuang.

Phuang Yu Han Justicia
The Shaw Foundation Gold Medal (For most outstanding performance)
Diploma with Merit
The Right Angle Prize (For 'Documentary Production')

oh my god.
its expected la.
ever since year one, shes been bagging "most outstanding performer of the year".
but she deserves it.
like wat michael said "very well-deserved".
i cant agree no less.

i was jus so proud of you when you stood on stage and your accolades were being read out by the MC.
it was joy overflowing and overpouring.

i am so proud of you:
for being such a fantastic friend (and fan=),
for being tat person who would listen to all my bitching, complains and whines,
for being such a lovely, dynamic, incredible and on the ball producer of tan xin
and for being there to share your 3yrs in fsv wif me.
and i wouldnt do tan xin with anyone but you as my producer.
thanks for making tan xin a success,
and many thanks for making this 3yrs of my life in fsv so so memorable.

and after all that picture taking, merry-making, chitter-chattering, eating-drinking, chit-chatting and miggling;
we head for good SIM for our last meal there.

den it was to coffeeclub @ orchard
followed by shes the man @ cine.

along the way is a whole string of games like:
-how many times did meh meh jump over the wall?
-black magic
-bang bang
-the number game
-mrt stations

n to end the night,
it was thai food @ far east.

wat a memorable graduation 2006.

d urge.

2006-06-11T21:37:00.000+08:00

suddenly i have this urge to wanna write.write.write and write.
tis wk have been spent redecorating, renovating and reinventing tan xin.

and im realli proud of the final product.
i love the music.
i love the look.
i love the credits!

bloooody hell.
it cost freaking many buckeroos this bluurdy renovation!

ANYWAYS.
it was to cutting edge yesterday to redo the credits+subtitles.
damn. they take the whole day!
even longer and painful than editing the film!
we booked for 4hrs but exceeded for a gd 11/2hr.
thnk god for beng teck.
n it was to yum cha next door of cutting edge!
wat prime location.

n im back today to do the dumping out.
thnk god for beng teck.
the whole renovation affair took a total of 8hrs
and he is only charging us for 4hrs.

ANYWAYS.
its d urge.

i think im realli lost.
lost in this whirlwind world.

i dunno wat im doing.
im jus going with the motion of things.
im jus going thru the rountine of things.
i jus need sth fresh.

i have the urge to write a new musical.
d urge to fall in love.
d urge to go on a long holiday.
d urge to run away and retire somewhere.
to soak in the fresh air, in the clear waters...

d urge to run.jus run...

the dresser

2006-06-10T20:29:00.000+08:00

now lets talk a lil abt the dresser.

its realli an exhaustive show.
wats with wordy dialogue and intense emotions.
and i leave rehearsals everyday dead with fatigue.
it requires my total 100% energy and concentration,
altho im jus stage managing it.
imagine wat is for d actors - michael and adrian!
adrian has the most lines in the play with bloody many monologues to rattle,
and michael has the most roller coaster emotive beats in the show.
i really really respect them.

now lets talk abt the job.
its my first foray as stage manager.
and honestly i dun think i did a gd job.
but twas a wk past.
i hope ill do betta in the wks to come.

its funny how i yearn for the wkend break.
but yet i suffer from rehearsals blues.
how i long to b back in the loft for rehearsals.
wat an oxymoron.
oxymoron?
no?
moron?
yes?

and ill b dreading rehearsals when i start them nex wk.
and ill b oh so yearning for tt wkend break.
and when it comes again, ill b yearning to go back to reh.
oh.
wat contradiction.

ive been telling jus.
ever since i started the dresser
and working with michael and adrian,
ive become very drama.
ok.
i was drama.
ive become even more drama.

wats wif the accent and the silly acts tt im coming up with.
all michael and adrian's fault!

adrian is still by far the most crappy and comical creature.
as we all know.
and michael is just, powerhouse.
and pam is in there too.
my second stint working wif her.
i love her to bits.

of cos.
in btw of all those intense emotions,
theres time for fun and comedy.
of cos.
you say.
with adrian, michael and pam.
but thats another story altogether.

and oh.
on parting note.
jus a note to note down.
go have lunch with adrian.
bcos he is so damn bloody famous,
we always get free food.

(and a constant supply of yummalicious, fresh from the oven pineapple tarts from crissbys @ UE square!)

i love u adrian,
oh, and of cos, you tracie!

(adrian slps with the director!)
.
.
.
.
.
.
cos shes his wife la.

my love secrets

2006-06-03T12:48:00.000+08:00

my blogger sux.
somehow changes the colour of my pics.
and my stupid taggy and format.
mayb its jus tech-idiot me.

anyhow.
ill b moving soon.
dage has agreed to design a spanky new webbie=)

anyhow.
my love life secrets r the same as just's, i jus realised.
hmmm. somehow her perception of love and mine are kinda the same.
i too, jus realised:

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love.

You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?

It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off.

In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm.

Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

hmmm.
how true.

10 gd years.

2006-06-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

we counted yest.
it was 10 solid yrs tt we've known each other.

its amazing how this friendship has evolved.
we were enemies when we were in p4.
got into the same class in p5.
played lotsa pranks outside of class.
and i still remember the bomb packs inside our uniforms incident.
we both fell for the same gal in class - luana low!
b4 we could get even closer in p6, you had to leave for america.

i remembered tt nite when u had to go.
i was really sad.
it was my first experience of someone leaving.

then i went to sec1.
it was another whole lot of an experience.
and we din really keep in contact.
(ie. there was no msn then)

4 years passed and i grad frm fairfield.
then one day you called.
you were back for gd.
we hanged out at my place.
you, may, luana and me.

and hanged quite abit b4 u went into army.

and as i battle wif my final yr in fsv wif loads and loads of work,
and as you slog in the army,
we once again lost contact.

until tt day.
when the lovely clara decided to organize a 6G gathering for daniel b4 he goes into army.
tt road trip home from serangoon to jurong to commonwealth then back home.
twas a fruitful chat.

and then the "depression" happened.
thnx for being there for me tt day.
d dinner and beer yest was a blast.

thnx for everything bro.
the late nites swim.
the suppers.
the car rides (and personal driver)
the drinks.
and being there to witness all my embarassment.

i couldnt have survived this ten yrs without you.

its jus one of those urge:

2006-05-31T22:24:00.000+08:00

to wanna blog sth but no particular subject watsoever.

life is a whirlwind for me.
directionless, would b a gd description.
i think the keyword would be: empty.

its jus one of those life crossroads i am in.
to fully submerge into it and heck the world or...

y is this world so hard a place to live in.
im jus asking for tt one thing.
y does it keep denying it frm me.
y?

jus tt one thing.
tt one particular thing i so need.
tt particular thing i so long crave for.

love's like heaven's malady,
from which there is no cure -
love's the agony i can endure.
- love so true, man of letters.

jean n darren's speech:

2006-05-28T13:51:00.000+08:00

the dresser.

2006-05-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

starring MICHAEL Corbridge & ADRIAN Pang

29th June - 16th July 2006
DBS Arts Centre, Home of the Singapore Repertory Theatre.

man of letters.

2006-05-25T19:56:00.000+08:00

since justin baby started this "mol aftermath" thingy, i thot i shall blog a lil on it too.

man of letters.
the nus commissioned piece for their centennial celebrations.
im really very honoured and humbled to be part of the production; to be working with so many talented and professional individuals. it was tough, to say the least, with rehearsals full days, everyday (excpt mon) and sometimes extending till 11pm. it was trying too, especially when i had to go for rehearsals in the day and rush for fundoshi at nite. but all in all, it was a very fun experience.

im delighted to b working wif darren and grace again. they are fabulous and i really miss darren who is back in aussie le. ive forged many friendships and strengthened many others. and im humbled by everyone who work so damn hard to put a musical of such large scale together. above all, im really grateful to grace, without whom, i would not even b able to work on this musical. special credit goes to suraya too, for really believing and trusting in me. im really honoured to be asked back to stage manage "The Dresser" and assistant production manage "Forbidden City". I couldnt express my gratitude no less.

This production really brought me many happy memories; and to be honest, i do have some post production blues. that is because we have stayed together like a family for the past 7wks. we have become a community. i thank all who have been part of this wonderful family and i really count it my blessing knowing you. this production also brought me falling deeply in love with you. altho i secretly pray everyday tt i can make you mine, ive gotten over it and im really trying to move on. im really happy for you baby, and im jus excited that ill b able to see u in Forbidden!

do visit justin's for more amazing photos; which he is suppose to send it to me soon! for now, enjoy man of letter's backstage pass!:...

You.

2006-05-23T11:15:00.000+08:00

i am at a total loss for words, to explain the trembling of my heart, that waits hopelessly for you. Do you know what you've made me become? - just another love-struck fool struck dumb.

The words fail me. They leave me overwhelmed. i am laid bare, defenceless against you, everytime i see you. i go to work everyday just contented to catch a glimpse of you. And i cannot help but say, your presence just lights up my day. i so long hope that there's someone in my life who feels the way i do, somebdoy who will be the special one to whom i will be declaring i love you.

i really want to comfort your fears and whisper words of nothing in your ears, but all because i cant be man enough for what i want, strong enough to storm, be assertive from the start.

now somebody else is speaking words of love. somebody else can just reach out and hold you near. somebody else's voice has stolen all my passion, all my words, just empty words.

ironially enough, i am going through the man of letters experience. everynite, as i watch you perform, i can so identify with ming. because im ming.

i know i cannot b wif you. but ill still love you. and i know that that somebody else will take gd care of you. and im happy for you to have found that somebody else. such is the magnitude of love. cos love's the agony i can endure.

just the other evening,
when the world was slping,
i was lying wide awake,
imagining your smile.

then a breeze that bore your gentle voice across the land,
floated in the air,
and there you were -

to mesmerize me,
haunt me with your beauty,
wrapped me in your warm embrace -
of love so real and pure.

love's like heaven's malady,
from which there is no cure,
love's the agony i can endure.

im am in love.
a love struck fool, struck dumb in love with you.

forever yours.

a note.

2006-04-10T23:25:00.000+08:00

lifes been terribly busy for me.
i have rehearsals for man of letters with srt in the day and the magic fundoshi show at nights.

tell me bout it.

im so looking forward to the end of fundoshi, which is in 2wks time where i can have some space to breathe.

its official.
i dun plan to b in the tv line.
still considering whether shld i do theatre for long.
tho d pays a bitch.

oh well.

enlistments prolly in sept.
well...pros and cons.
oh well.

as it comes.

ps. a very random entry. no mood to write proper. many stuff to blog and recap. nows not the time.

life.so.far

2006-03-18T22:47:00.000+08:00

life so far is exhilrating to say the least.
within the course of 1wk, ive spent countless hrs in the editing room completing my showreel (its completed le, so thank god for that!), ive spent 5hrs inside lower pierce reservoir in d dark, squatting mosquitos, jus to scare students during their adventure camp, ive run ard spore (literally) to hopefully clinch a deal with joe's fsc.

and in the midst of it, i got to know a grp of very lovable but very hyperactive youths *i promise pictures will come your way very shortly*, got to catch up wif a few youths, got to spend quality time wif samuel (its really nice to hear abt his growth wif the Lord) and of cos, earn myself quite a gd sum of $$ from freelancing=).

ps. im really hoping i can clinch the deal wif joe's fsc. itll b *kaching*kaching ringing in my ears. haha.

i start reh wif action theatre nex wk b4 we open nex thurs @ raffles hotel, jubilee hall. so ladies and gentlemen, if you can only catch one show this year, it has to be

DOUBT, by Action Theatre.
playing from 24march - 2april 2006.
wkdays: 8pm (except monday)
wkends: 3pm & 8pm show.

contact ticketcharge for tickets.

army daze.

2006-03-10T12:10:00.000+08:00

oki.
so it shall b an entry b4 i start to procrastinate again.
pro-cras-ti-nate.

watched army daze last nite @ d drama centre.
first time @ the lib.
first time @ the drama centre.
or dc, as it is known affectionately.
jus like my initials.

and being the theatre buff.
yes.
u guessed it rite.
its another rundown on the production.

well, lets jus say tt army daze has magic.
at least it did some psychoing to me.
tt its d experience tt matters.

d acting was splendid.
i mean what do you expect when you put the powerhouses actors and actesses of the theatre scene together?.
super big egoistical talents!

hossan was the usual mommas boi.
i like how he paid such fine and detailed attention to his leg positions to further bring out tt mommas role.
d other 4 army bois shone too.
robin sissified as usual, seb as beng as ever and shiekel really relac one corner.
among the 5 bois, perhaps the least outstanding was khrishna.
i thot his performance was relatively flat.
there were many brilliant moments where he could "played it up", especially when kumar stars his love interest.

the gals were also on par with their male counterparts.
selena was...jus selena.
even b4 watching the play, i could so imagine her playing the role of mrs png le.
emma was jus emma too.
and kumar...was kumar!

and how not to mention my "boss man" gordon choy.
it was...unbelievably unbelievable.
i love you man.
jus give me more productions and pay me promptly.

oh how i love them.

in terms of staging, i felt tt my beloved director beatrice could have played more with the space of the stage as well as the minimalistic set tt she has built upon.
the ensemble cast were under-utilised too.
and there shld be a few more numbers in the play then just the opening segment.
and and...yes, being the niao critic,
the follow on spot operator did make some mistakes.

but overall, it was an enjoyable nite at the theatre.
had supper with them.
wat a way to end the nite.

and im crewing for Action Theatre's Doubt, starring uncle yu beng, the hot hot pam oei and auntie nora samosir.
run opens 24th march.
till then, its rehearsals and bump in.

coming soon.

2006-03-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

an entry's coming its way soon.

watch. this. space.

tan xin teaser.

2006-02-20T22:07:00.000+08:00

check this out.

2006-02-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

rachel's farewell.

2006-02-15T00:25:00.000+08:00

twas v day.
twas also rachel's farewell day.
shes goin back to nz.

had to troup to sch jus to take the stupid cam n lx test.
(which was my fault for skipping last wk. ha.)
it ended in an hr.
imagine going to sch for jus an hr.
+ cab fare.
boo.

rushed a card for rach n sent for printing.
met sk and gang at city hall n off we were to d airport.

met rach. hug hug. smile smile. talk talk.
she went to check in
we mac-ed.

so hilarious.
i bought sk and rach 2 very mini handmade roses bouquet.
kenny bought rach a big bouquet of fake roses.
while colin got sk a bouquet of blue roses (blue can u imagine?)
and both liked mine instead.

hahaha.

yes.
im bhb.

anyway, we souped for dinner.
nice set meal we had.
i love the samsui chicken.
kenny got suaned all the way, as usual.

exchange present. open open. laugh laugh laugh.
we made the loudest noise at the restuarant.
how glam.

took pictures.
took more pictures.

n time for rach to go in.
hug hug hug.
more pictures.
and till nex year dearie.
we miss you.

all d pics are in chin huat's cam
which i can only get it tis wkend.
meanwhile, i found some old photos while working on rach's card.

a walk down memory lane...

oh my...how we looked back then!!!

anger management.

2006-02-09T18:25:00.000+08:00

i think i realli needa go for an anger management course.
i blew juz now.

but i realli couldnt take it.
i said so many times le.
either you want me to b involved in it and i make hell alot of freaking noise
if ur not up to standard.
if the film is not up to standard.
or dun bother to ask me to sit in and get involved.
its.common.sense.

u cant expect me to b mr nice guy.
saying tt all is nice.
and compromise my standards.
if you want quality.
sorry.
i cant compromise.

im sorry for venting my frustration on some of you babies.
im sorry.
its not ur fault.
but cos u guys were there at tt time.
u guys had to endure it.
im sorry.

i cannot understand y post production cost more than production.
i cannot understand y im paying the most money for audio.
ridiculous.

a very random update.

2006-02-08T10:59:00.000+08:00

ive not switched on my com for a str8 3 days.
im busy.
alot of things to settle.
to plan.

i wanna go on a long holdiay.
but i cant.
yet.

we are v blessed.
tan xin is really looking gd.
im realli amazed how blessed we are.
praising God for tt.

i haven finish alot of my work.
and i haf to do tt b4 i graduation.
in.one.week's.time.

dvd is driving me nuts.
no idea wats wrong.
will bombard d.khoo tis fri.

i know its no gd.
but im procrastinating on spec journs.
d thot of em make me sick.

harie hurt his leg.
goin for an op.
but he looks fine.
he'll do well.
praying for him.
we are all behind u dude~.

one small incident at the hospital,
made me realised how much i love all of them.
the editors union and all the groupies.

i agree wif jus.
im so glad tt im getting to know ppl i never knew better now.
n not to sound cliche or mushy,
but i love all of you.
the scene at the hospital warmed my heart yesterday.

and i cannot say how much i love all of you.

L.I.F.E

2006-01-31T11:04:00.000+08:00

Pastor Berth from Aussie visited and preached on L.I.F.E this sunday.
she asked "What is each of your life worth?"

and thruout this festive period, tt word LIFE has been emerging in several conversation i had wif several ppl.

i recall one remark someone made jokingly "derrick, you must go find a life"
(briefly and loosely quoted)

i remember seeing this shirt from the church across ours at zion road, and falling in love with it.

the front of the shirt has this guy listening to an ipod (picture the ipod ad of silhoutted ppl dancing with a very colouful ipod) with the text - "He has a LIFE".

and the back of it is another silhoutte guy with a cross hanging over his neck with the text - "But I have ETERNAL LIFE".

just explained my thoughts.

how much is my life worth?
I am worth JESUS to God.
bcos God sacrificed Him for me.
and i wanna live my life fulfiling my purpose.
i dun wanna jus live everyday not knowing my meaning in life.

ive found the meaning and im going to live it out.
i mayb young and should have tried so many exciting and interesting stuff.
but to me,
living a life tt is full of purpose and fulfilments is more meaningful.

i wanna invest in a life tt will last for eternal.
and i wanna live a life tt will impact for eternally.
because i wanna live a LIFE that is Living Intentionally For Eternity.

fishy's 21st bdae

2006-01-30T10:41:00.000+08:00

something's fishy.

'twas fishy's 21st bdae.
modena condo.simei.
21st.jan.06
1900hrs.

we had lotsa fun.
did alot of stupid stuff (as usual).
and the vids are up!
its supposed to b a full video for her bdae present.
but i chopped them up to parts so its easier to view.

(depending on ur connection, you might haf to wait for some time. click on the big play button and then pause the video to let it load fully before viewing).

gong.xi.fa.cai

2006-01-30T10:39:00.000+08:00

happy lunar new yr!

i apologize for my lagginess.
see those empty entries below?
they are a reminder for me to blog abt them.

will b uploading several videos and pics...
so await...

jfoo sr bdae

2006-01-23T00:23:00.001+08:00

fishy's bdae

2006-01-23T00:23:00.000+08:00

a brand new year.//

2006-01-08T21:25:00.000+08:00

its a brand new year.
its a whole new 2006.

it has been a wk of fun and madness. quite a nice way to start d new year.
and ill attempt to sum it all up in this one entry.

31st dec//sat
thnxgiving party cum svc at dbs auditorium.
snap.snap.snap.
took lotsa pics.
d youth n tert dance is super cool!
fishy's diva performance was *totally* D-I-V-Aish.

went to boat quay/tcc wif joel, kenneth, esther n jo for d countdown.
was fun, altho we were kinda blocked frm the fireworks.
had lotsa fun at tcc.

1st dec//sun
new yr svc.
aftertt, d nus cell went to haagen daz to slack.
bee.belle.fish.xiaochuan.huaiyang.eddie.christy.
followed by bowling wif fishy, christy and xiaochuan.

so out of shape.
score: 78 and 85.
n thigh muscles was aching after it.
so need to exercise my exercise regime real. soon.

dinnered at marina loft.
esplanaded for awhile.

2nd dec//mon
mattias n mabel thnxsgiving party.
so many adults.
only me and fish were frm tert.
had fun.
shirley is pregnant!

ye.

and wif so many adults ard,
our converstation were slanted to
pregnancy.babies.family life.
the closest to our "topic" was dating.
hahaha.
kaypo shirley.
3rd dec//tues
d nus cell crashed my hse to watch narnia.
it was real gd.
altho d animation were kinda fake.
it was well paced.
not too long like the other epics.

4th & 5th dec//wed & thurs
camped at kevin's hse jus so we (jude, him and me) can brainstorm and write d script.
midnight supper (still working title; as of now) it is called.
eh.
still VERY VERY rough.

nth much.
suped at adam at freaking 3 o-clock.
nth's left much.
ate this chilli hot soup kway tiao wif kev. taste kinda ok-ie.

6th dec//fri
cam n lx shoot.
4 ppl shooting in a single day; single loc.
kev's new hse.
damn big.
damn nice.

d slackest shoot ive ever been man!
harie and i finished our shoot in n hr's time.
and we all decided to head out for ice cream.

went to sch and picked van and cherie.
island creamery. serene centre.
jus.tia.harie.kev.cherie.van.
baked alaska rock the hse man.

head back to kev hse for d nite shots.
"i would like to...try...to slp wif you tonite"
that's my line i haf to say to jus for tia's shoot.

hahaha.

fun shoot.
i like it.

7th dec//sat
xiao chuan's bdae!!
combined youth n tert svc.

i njoyed it.
jere prayed for me.
it was a powerful prayer.
hes such a powerful man of God.
spoke some stuff into my life tt i gotta lay hold on.
thnx bro.

after celebrating boat's bdae, head to uncle gulam hse for newyr bbq.
it was nice to see wesley and auntie suzanna again.
as well as aunt juliana and family.

quite a fun time wif pam, pat, patrick and wes.
it was gd food.
enjoyed myself.

8th dec//sun
jus' bdae!!!
happy bdae jus!

svc was gr8.
i realli njoyed d worship.
it was awesome.

sun itenary outing!!!

tis time we went to ben n jerrys at gwc.
after so long, i get to step into it finally!
had d peanut butter ice cream. heavenly.
joel.fish.me.

den chuan joined us and we went to orchard.
taka-ed. artfriended. bookbinded.
bought.
jus.
present.
she BETTA LIKE IT.

den we ate again!
dim sumed @ food republic at wisma.
it was wonderful.

i let the pic do d talking:

thnksgiving.

2006-01-04T03:50:00.000+08:00

its d time of d yr to look back at the past yr and reflect on it.
its d time of d yr to give thanks to God for all tt He has done.
its d time of d yr to look forward to a gr8 yr ahead.
its d time of d yr to reflect on our life and set new resolutions.
its thanksgiving; 31st december 2005.

i have to admit i haven been up to task to sit down and reflect and plan for my new yr.
but like it or not, 2005 is gone and 2006 is here.

there is much to give thanks to despite the turbulent 2005.

harvester.
zhong: for always being there for me. ever so watchful even when i fall. thnx for all the prayers and interceding. for being such a special friend.
bing: for d friendship since sec sch. for ur love for the body of Christ and d constant naggings n wake up calls.
kenny: for jus being you. d simple faith tt always spurs me on.
lovleen: for d heart of worship, the love and the concern uve showered. for being the one whom i know i can fall back to.
chow in: for the watchful and interceding prayers.
eric, papa joe, chit, wesley, benson and the ns cell: for all the support, friendship and crazy moments.
fishy, xiaochuan, junie, meiqing, hong, belle, bee and the nus cell: for all the crazy times we had together. d stupid things and memorable moments we had.

fsv.
huestripes: for a crazy, exciting and memorable yr tog. for all the toil, blood and sweat.
jus & tia: for the friendship since yr1. for always being there for me.
jude, kev, harie: for filling up my "bored" moments wif late nites out and supper. thnx for all d car rides too!
d editors union: for the birth of the union and all the crazy times we had tog. for d understanding of wat stress REALLY means; and the coming tog to share the burden!

of coz, above all,
to my family
and my personal Lord and Saviour,
Jesus Christ.

editors union party~

2006-01-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

alrighty.
i know im laggy.

so many events.
so lil time to blog.

30.12.05
new year's eve eve.
d editors union (d editors for spec) decided to come tog and hold a mini potluck party.
it was kinda cool to haf a party in sch. really.
i nvr had d chance b4.
and its kinda cool, since its graduation really soon.

den again, ppl say its cool.
"editors so cool one, still haf party in sch"
i say - we dun haf life.
edit whole day whole life, tt we gotta party in sch.
how sad.

aniwae, the nite was damn fun and crap!
eddy made us d limited edition Editors Union tee.
and of coz, the highlight of the party - the EU Spoof.

ill keep it short.
ill let the picture do the talking.

editors' union
new year's eve party 30.12.05

moving on...

2005-12-31T16:47:00.000+08:00

wrote an entry initially but stupid blogger had to lost my entry.
y, i dunno.

anihow.
ill update on the tertiary camp and the editors union party another time.
sian diao to write everything again.

but i tell myself i must blog an entry b4 2005 ends.

its tt time of the yr again.
new yr's eve.

2005 was an eventful yr for me.
interning at OAP was an eye-opener.
was proud to have 8 trailers under my belt.
was honoured to be part of the national day rally video production.
being invited by the Prime Minister, himself to 1)National Day Rally and 2)Istana for a lunch appreciation; was a first for me.

2005 was a busy yr for me.
specialist was D word in everyone's mind.
it is tiring.
a whole long year affair.
but it is definitely rewarding.
looking back from where we started till what we've got,
im proud of everyone.
year3 was a stressful yr.
with more advanced projs and more demands and expectations frm lectureres.
workload.workstress.
but we managed to pull thru.
praise Him.

2005 was a painful time for me.
relationships did take a toil on me.
being busy and all doesnt gives me much time to invest in the R/S.
friendships were neglected and distant.
the PCA saga did affected me alot.
spiritually, i was shaken.
spiritually, i was lost.
very.
disappointments and hurts surfaced one more time.

however,
there are still room to give thanks and praise Him for 2005.
im glad tt thru spec, our relationship as a grp reached a new high.
im glad to form a closer bond wif my sch mates.
and im grateful for all of em.
i nvr feel so much love for you guys till tis yr!
"you know i love you" - as harie would say.

im glad tt even tho it was a rough yr,
God has the ability to turn the tables and bring me to a new high, come the yr end.
im glad tt even tho i fall,
God has the ability to pick me up and enable me to soar again.
im glad tt even tho i was rebellious,
God still forgives and loves me unconditionally.

im glad tt my God is always there for me.

im excited for 2006.
itll b another milestone for me.
tan xin completion.
my graduation.
my vacation.
primary one registration.

itll b a yr of unknowns.
itll b a yr of adventure.
itll b a yr of seeking.

but above all,
im glad i came back to my Father.

my handwriting.

2005-12-28T01:45:00.000+08:00

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You are self-confident and like to bring attention to yourself.

its REALLY scarry how all this "fortune telling" can b so true.
i like the "You are talkative, mayb even a busybody!!!"
i was laughing hard when i saw tt.
no doubt.
dare's the no.1 kaypo king.

and also the "...like to bring attention to yourself" bit.
hahaha.
how true.
i believe many ppl will agree la.
fine.
i din know u could really tell jus by my handwriting.
somemore so ugly, using the stupid mouse and write.

"Son, come to ME"

2005-12-27T17:42:00.000+08:00

was contemplating whether to go for the Tertiary camp.
decided in d end to go, lest the constant buggin frm yunwoei n hongjie.
ha.

and i was complaining thruout the way there.
called yunwoei to come fetch me say he busy.
then wahlau.
the whole of sentosa ran out of english map.
how was i to find puny coasta sands resorts hidden in palawan beach?
and i remembered complaining to God tt it mus rain of all time.
i ended up LOST in sentosa.
i took 1 train, 1 bus and 1 tram to finally reached my destination.

dinner was OK.
(altho i din pay).
haha.
ps james was preacher of d camp.
den went for service.
felt God move so powerful during worship.
after so long.
i really felt it.

d sermon was gd.
talks abt the favour of God.
somehow along the way, God spoke in His small still voice.
so strong.
so strong.

and den altar call came.
ps james asked all of us to go to the front.
put away all weariness, all tiredness to earnestly seek God.

having gone thru so many trials and testings in yr2005,
having been hurt and disappointed by His ppl,
having been betrayed and having the "lack",
i stood there helpless. strengthless.

i prayed a quick prayer.
i said God, i stand b4 u, helpless.
i really need You.
all this while, ive been running wif my strength.
and im tired.
i need URS God.

many disappointments in yr2005.
youth pastor saga was one major event.
dun wish to talk abt it.
but it DID affect me alot.
i thot tt was the end for any hope.

last nite, God spoke.
so clearly.
He said: "why do you keep looking to man, when I, the ONE who created you, know you inside out?"

i looked up to God.
i felt so stupid.
He went on: "why do you keep looking for man to put ur trust in them? when I, the ONE who created the whole universe, the one who put the stars in place, the alpha and the omega, the omni-present, forever powerful God, should b d one whom u put ur trust in."

Jesus, im sorry.
i was so busy with the outside,
i forgot the inside.

i am weak.
and i acknowleges it God.
i acknowledge tt i need YOU.

You are so great.
so great.
You did not need to do anything.
yet You have such a way in making me realise tt i need YOU.
wow.

Jesus, im so in love wif you.
i believe in You, Lord, tt You can walk thru wif me,
all my imperfections,
You will make it perfect.

someone once commented.
we always start the yr wif jest,
full of love for Him.
then in the middle of the yr, we stubble, we fall.
towards the yr end, we fail big time.
and then CHRISTMAS comeby.
we are at our lowest.
that is why we need God.
tt is why CHRIST was born.

"son, come back to ME, Your Father. I, the omni-present, omni-potent, ever powerful God will never fail"

"yes Lord. i will follow You, everyday of my life"

YOU are the reason.

2005-12-27T17:32:00.001+08:00

Sang this song for service on sunday. I was so happy. I really love this song n was pleasantly surprised tt d worship team attempted this song for service. And I really love the BRIDGE!!! It is also the same song tt is playing on my blog...

Jesus, YOU are the REASON, for this CHRISTmas season.

YOU are the reason

by Avalon

As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn'
Of all the gifts and toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
All because of love, all because of love

I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart just to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

We are the reason
that He gave His life
We are the reason that
He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all that He could give
To show us the reason to live

He is the reason to live

the reason for the season.

2005-12-26T22:58:00.000+08:00

prologue
this is a rather long entry. to some, it may b termed as "religious". but i do hope that you will take time to read it and in the process find hope, strength and love this christmas season. i pray that you will b blessed.

christmas came a tad early this year.
i started 2 wks b4 buying and preparing presents.
shan shan went thru mass production.
ribbons, berries and other xmas deco were bought in bulk.
specially designed cards were discussed and printed by my designer friend.

1 wk b4 xmas.
grocery shopping.
cold storage. bungawan solo. ntuc. ghim moh market.
i enjoy d preparations.
its fun.
d xmas spirit.

dayone.22.12//
the tan xin wrap/shan shan wrap/3x wrap/xmas party.
met d guys in d afternoon to buy the last minute presents for jus and the gift exchange.
it was PAINfUL to part wif ur money.
but its the joy of giving tt makes it worthwhile.
its the joy on the receiver's face tt makes u feel *awwww.

we bought jus wat she wanted afterall.
tt paul frank "stacked letters" watch.
it din come cheap.
but for our dear friend,
we'll do anything for her.
(and i know ur reading this. u betta love us wif all ur heart and all ur soul! hahaha.)
jude got his long awaited "Days of Being Wild" DVD - the more expensive version with the making and wong kar wai's interview.
kevin got his CK boxers. i still can remember his rxn when he opened his present. he was so happy.
its so nice to see those happy faces.

lifang got my present for gift exchange.
a cool quiksilver bottle.
and i got a bottle of white wine frm harie.
i attempted to drink a cup.
haha.

happy to see all of em once again.
jus.jude.kevin.junxian.lifang.gen.janice.leslie.alan.zul.cherie.jeline.anwar.pradeep.
we ate.
we exchanged presents.

FOR THE RECORD (and the fun of it)
THE MOST CHEAPO PRESENT: mug. (hahaha. u know i luv u jel) ok la, actually its the egg-open-become-alarm-clock?
THE MOST PERFECT PRESENT: mini dustbin (for jude) - u shld know y la. haha.
THE MOST SUITABLE PRESENT: quiksilver lanyard for jus - looks like a producer onset. and i mean like *totally*
THE MOST GO-MARKET-BUY PRESENT: rocher. (frm jude) ok la, at least its the 24 pcs one!
THE MOST EXPENSIVE PRESENT: chocolates. (frm jus) she claims it cost 200bucks. or issit 20buckerros? ???

and here r some of the pics:

food glorious food.
lifang is always happy when theres food.

daytwo.23.12//
met jude.harie.cherie.jeline to continue our shopping in town.
haha.
wanted to buy an adidas jacket for me.
but sigh.
the limited edition store din haf anything nice.
walked ard.
cherie.can.really.shop.
reminds me of my mom.
finally landed in taka.
bought d apple scented perfume frm dkny for angie.
yada.yada.

headed down to vch for my church's xmas musical celebration.
tia's stage acting debut.
she was gr8.
and.she.can.really.cry.
pauline was gr8 too.
my gawd.
so auntie. and her styling!!!
i coundnt recognized her at first when she appeared!
my princess moriah was so cute too.
i love her. little issabelle.
kudos to the drama team for a gr8 show.

daythree.24.11//
my whole day was spent at expo.
first half:
was invited by jeline to her church's magic of love xmas show.
went wif evan and edwin.
d show was splendid!
ps kong was wow.
d tricks and illusion was world class!!!
i love it!
betta than david copperfield.
haha.
and in d end, edwin was saved!
praise God!
and...guess wat.
lil brandon went and was saved too!
its really heartening for me.
God is good.

second half:
aftertt, we went to eat a lil at the cafe outside the hall.
then all left.
waited for my dear shufeng to come for city harvest's xmas land.
she wanted to go and support ryan.
so i accompanied her.
suppose to find colin.
but then he was too busy playing at the carnival.
ha.
xmas land was gd.
needless to say.
d hall is bigger and betta.
the lighting system is WOW.
i love their lighting boards.
anyway...thousands were saved.
the sight was heartening.

dayfour.25.12//
xmas day!!
went to church for the xmas celebration service.
xchanged prezzies.
sing carols.
yadaed-yadaed.
then help ah hong and beelian wif the tert camp booklets at co.
yadaed-yadaed.
was suppose to go out wif the 86 gang to celebrate bee's bdae.
but she got d camp mtg until dunno wat time and i was so tired, i decided to go home instead.

slpt extremely early.
woke extremely late.
but really had a quality slp.

dayfive.26.12//
boxing day!
went to gen's hse for d post-xmas party luncheon.
gen.lifang.janice.leslie.kokyeow.harie.eddie.vanessa.mike.n the rest of the bu ye tian crew.
had lotsa fun.
couldnt stop myself frm stealing the chicken wing.
it was damn nice!!!
thnx gen!
watched shan shan AGAIN.
harie's idea.
then he and eddie started kara-oking to it.
daidee-ed.watch teevee.mtv video awards intercut wif oprah show intercut wif madonna artist of d month.

den headed to tertiary camp at sentosa.
d service was gr8.
d annointing of God and the power of the holy spirit was very strong.
Praise Him in the sanctuary.
all the days of your life.

and so tt was my xmas wk.
2005.

but tt is not all to xmas.
xmas is not juz partying and turkeying.
its still abt the REASON for the season.
its still abt JESUS Christ, the Son of the Living God.
without HIM, there will not b Christmas.

wat GRAND occassion is it tt puts the world to a HALT and declares it a holiday - internationally?
wat GRAND occassion is it tt marks the counting of d calendar years?
B.C, which stands for Before Christ
A.D, (which is a latin word) tt stands for the years after Jesus' birth.
wat GRAND occasion is it tt has d occassion named after His name?

the grand occasion is JESUS' birth.
christmas is not X-mas.
its CHRIST-mas.
its all abt HIM.

tis christmas,
spread a lil warmth.
show a lil love.
experience a lil peace.

dun juz give presents
and receive gifts.
come and experience the GREATEST MIRACLE ever.
come and accept the GREATEST GIFT ever.

it takes 2 person to complete a gift exchange.
it takes 2 person to complete the "gift transaction".
today, the gift has been given.
will you stretch out your hand to accept it?

im blessed to have Him in my life.
and i pray a special prayer tt you will too.

"wat does a man profit if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?"

my true colours

2005-12-26T22:44:00.000+08:00

im trying to work to achieve this:

Derrick, your true color is Green!

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

stupid things.

2005-12-22T14:40:00.000+08:00

ysd was a series of stupid things committed.

was helping jus wif her cam n lx shoot.
after all d set up, we realised tt the tripod screw for the Arri cam does not fit the monfrotto tripod!!!
and jus said d cage dun gif out the miller tripod liao.
so we went into a frenzy going to buy screw and wat nort.
finally, it was decided tt we will cancel shoot and ask for an exchange of tripod.

tt was stupid thing one.

in btw the set up we were fooling ard.
and andrew was sitting nex to me at the sofa
and i conveniently played wif his fone...
only to realise it was jus cousin's (d actress) fone!
shit.
i was so embarrassed.
i still said so loudly "come lets take a pic tog!"

tt was stupid thing two.

then...tia drew and me decided to pig out at 85 mark
while jus when to buy the screw.
and when we wanna go back to jus' hse,
we when to the wrong block!
thnk god we din ring the doorbell.

tt was d series of stupid things we did ysd.

"things seem to be quite smooth for you..."

2005-12-21T01:09:00.000+08:00

the surface seems unruffled, but beneath the torments run.

all i want for christmas is you.

2005-12-18T10:23:00.000+08:00

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas
Is you...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you...
You baby

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
'Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You...

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
Won't you please bring my baby to me

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for
I just want to see baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You

All I want for Christmas is you baby
(repeat)

blessed.

2005-12-17T02:15:00.000+08:00

216am on a friday nite and im sitting in front of my com typing.
i jus finished planning post production schedule for spec.
tt is wat u will find no-lifers in fsv do.

but well,
specialist.
its a whole new found adrenaline.

- at least for me.

year 2005.
gawd.
it came and is going very very soon.

jus in a blink of the eye.

soon, 7 wks will b up and we will all say our gdbyes to blk 52, level 7, 8 and 9.

its that fast.
its that scarry.

its that contradiction feeling.
its that "ye...im out of here" feeling.
yet its the "i wish i could stay a tad longer..." feeling.

as i look back in my 3 years in fsv,
theres many things to learn and reflect on.

honestly, i have grown.
and i proud of that.
ive gone thru different situations and i come out stronger.
ive experience various real life scenarios and i come out wiser.

i was mr-kapo-everything-also-wanna-know in yr 1.
i was mr-demanding-think-i-know-everything in yr 2.

im glad i took a step back and evaluated myself.
nowadays i live with this philosophy.
wateva that doesnt concerns me, shut up and dun care.

i am mr ______________________ in yr 3.
i cannot comment abt tt bcoz it really is up to you to judge.

im glad tt i got really closer to some of my classmates in sch.
and im so thankful for them for showing me my weakness and helping me overcome them,
im so grateful for their patience and tolerance, dedication and giving,
im so hopeful for further collaboration and development of our friendship.
to say im blessed is an understatement.

2005 really put me in perspective and helped me see things in the big picture.
life's journey is painful but God places people ard you to cushion out the pain and highlight the joy.

im so blessed.
im so grateful.

im loooking forward to:
a great film.
a great team.
a great graduation.
a great report card.

a great 2006.

im blessed.
im so blessed.

being the bitch.

2005-12-16T22:21:00.000+08:00

i could be the naggy one.
i could be the "gek kao" one.
i could be the one tt bothers abt all the "eni-machum" one.
i could be the bitch.

or i could be the slack one.
i could be the relac one corner one.
i could be the "dun care even the world comes down" one.
i could be the "dun give 2 hoots abt anything" one.

but i cannot be the in between one.
i cannot be the mediocal one.
i cannot be the "give a little - slack a little" one.
i cannot be the "compromise a lil - sacrifice a little" one.

and if you want results,
if you want quality,
if you want perfection -
you have to endure me being a bitch -
if you are not up to standard.

its one of those nites.

2005-12-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

met bing and chow for dinner at the usuals.
it was bak ku teh and sambal stingray as usual.

then we walked frm AV all the way to tanglin halt.
wif lotsa crap and fun in btw.

we cut thru the rows of hdb flats.
we went to play in the playgrd.
we were so fascinated wif some water feature.
we were singing "we wish you a merry xmas" and a lot more...

its one of those nites.

MORE random ramblings...

2005-12-11T23:30:00.000+08:00

//
i love shopping at hdb void decks.
buying things juz make me happy.
and its kinda cool to shop at the void decks.
i literally went shop to shop today.
and the catch you can find in these stores are kinda cool.
im happy juz going shop to shop.
ahha.

//
ive a very strong crave for ice cream.
only 2 brands.
haagen daz and ben n jerries.
yes.
im branded.
and high maintainance, according to my mom.
hahaha!

and im still craving it!
thnx to lifang who have to remind me tt shes been to d ben n jerries yest.
i so wanna go to their boutique store!
and my dear cuz haf to pang seh me on ice cream sup.

//
there are a few things i wanna do come the 2wks break (which is nex wk!)
say yes!
- xmas shopping!!! (d presents list seems damn long this yr)
- pack my room + plan the xmas party proper. (most prolly its the 21st la)
- visit ben n jerries store every day!
- hang out wif zhong at his newly renovated room.
- meet up all those ppl whom i owe meet ups...
- exercise. (hahaha - ive gotten my exercise regime out but its juz waiting for me to find TIME!)
- bowling (i dunno y i haf tt craving)
- scuba diving (at msia)
- go on a holiday (haf to wait till i grad, i guess)
- perform on stage (both as an actor and a musician)
- join a band (wind band, that is)

and etc. etc. etc.

what i want for christmas?
the list is long.
come find me, ill give u a comprehensive one.

this wed is hdb video due date.
ill b so much free-er, and stress-free.
im looking forward to tt.
im looking forward to xmas.

i got a very personal n cool xmas presents planned for everyone liao.
you will know soon.

//
haf urself a very merry xmas!

//
i promise a very random entry.

some random ramblings...

2005-12-08T10:18:00.000+08:00

life's been easier to breathe.
finally finished 1 out of d 3 vids.
2 more to go.
come next wednesday, ill b stress-free.
at least for the hdb side.

tan xin is looking v gd.
im happy.
im making sure tt i come out wif fine cut latest by a wk's time.
i wanna clear work so i can really rest and enjoy those 2 wks xmas hols.

im in a xmas mood.
its tt mood when everything looks pretty.
xmas tree, xmas lx, xmas balls, pressies, shopping.
only lacking is the snow.

random ramblings.
//

philharmonic winds goes pop.

2005-12-05T01:41:00.000+08:00

been going to the theatres very frequently recently.
gagagga.
i still wanan catch chestnuts!
the parady spoof comedy by hossan and jon!

neway,
my dear shufeng's performing for the above mentioned concert.
and wif her invitation, how could i dare say no?
oh, and ryan's guest playing the elect guits too.
ha.

anyways,
its been long since i stepped into a concert hall to watch an instrumental performance.
to think it was quite a regular affair back then in sec sch when i was in the band and in mep.
tt mrs li would force us to watch a performance like every other wk.
and when i grad, i was so happy tt it marked the end of my 7 years of band life.

but when i sat in the concert hall today,
i jus had d sudden rush to wanna go onstage to play in a band again.
i miss fsb.
i miss the gd ol' days.
d concerts, syf, long hours of sectionals and practice,
and all the nonsense in between.
unfortunately fsb will nvr b d same.

i miss our batch.
i miss all d crapping and shit.
i miss d staying back in d bandrm preparing for events, band pracs and wat not.
i miss xmas camp!!!
i miss my seniors.
i miss daniel!
my fav BM, caring counselor and understanding friend.
if only we could turn back time and freeze frame.
sigh.

suddenly, gettin all sentimental...
see wat a nite at the esplanade can do?
shufeng...its all ur fault.
gagagaga.

but nonetheless, it really does set me thinking.
mom asked me earlier whether i wanna consider furthering my music not.
i said y not.
ill hafta consider.

im seriously at the crossroads.
i really dunno wat to do nex time.
sure, i love film & the media.
but theatre is still my first love.
afterall, i grew up in theatre.
and music is another area i dun mind venturing in.

so how?!?!?!
to quote uncle james (my fav lx op from esplanade and found everywhere else where theres job for him to do) "im jus a talented boy with a lot of interests".
gagagagagagaga!

abit shameless,
but i reckon, since im those kind of no shame person (^^hahaha)
its ok la.
gagagagagaga!

anyway,
ill leave it up to God.
His will b done.
ill juz concentrate on gettin my diploma first.

alright,
nuff of my crapping.
as always,
my rundown on the performance.

Philharmonic Winds goes POP!
i have to say tt all of their soloist are damn gd!!!

i notice one thing abt the philwinds.
they are DAMN VERY gd in slow passages.
their intonation as well as balance is damn gd.
however, their ending off (or tailing off) of the last note, sometimes can get very "shaky" resulting it to appears "sharp" or "flat".

when it comes to fast movements,
they tend to get a lil messy and off sync.
but very quickly, they slip back into rhythm.
there were some parts when the band could not keep up to the timing of Resident Conductor Mr. Robert Casteels.

i felt d band werent warmed up and ready to go for the first half of the performance.
they were of coz betta in the second half of the performance.
unfortunately, Movement 5 of the Star Wars Trilogy (Star Wars Main Theme)
did not achieve the ideal effect.
d band did not feel like its one whole unit.
it felt like it was many sections coming together to play the movement instead.
it resulted in a rather messy "blasting" of the theme.
however, movement 2 and 3 (esp the slow passages) were beautifully performed.

after the intermission,
the band got betta.
prolly more warmed up, relaxed and charged up.

miss saigon was superb altho i hope Mr. Robert Casteels could take the opening overture segment at a faster tempo.
then opening segment felt abit messy again.
there were times when syncopation and rhythm were off.
however, once again, their slow passages were beautiful.
"the movie in my mind" and "i still believe" were beautifully played.
the arrangment was great, altho i really wanted "the heat is on in saigon" to be included in d medley.

if i were to say tt d band is bad in fast rhythms, i would b so deadly wrong.
cant take my eyes off of you prove me wrong anytime.
it was so well coordinated and the rhythm, syncopation and balance were all there.
it din feel like it was many sections playing the piece but really sounded like one band.
it was seriously splendid.
the arrangment is one of the best arrangment i ever heard.
kudos to Toshio Mashima.
and its from Tokyo Kosei Wind Orchestra.
no wonder.

the nite ended wif 2 encores.
the philharmonic winds' fantastic!

a twist of fate

2005-12-04T00:01:00.000+08:00

went to watch it today.
only got one thing to say: I LOVE IT.

i dun wanna compare it to rent.
but its like hundred times betta.
in terms of storyline, acting, staging n music.

i love the set!
it's a rotating raffles hotel cum bungalow house!!!
its totally mind blowing!

i love the music and the cast is damn gd.
all of them really shine.

and the story is cool.
nvr seen a musical with such genre.
murder mystery comedy.
its really very well written with lotsa twists and turns.

altho some parts werent really clear and well explained.
i thot abt it after the show and here's wat i haf to say:

alice's relationship to mdm chan and lim chin boon wasn't explained.
so is she mdm chan and boon's daughter?
or is she mdm chan's other men's daughter?

the mystery of the hairpin.
so if emma west is swee neo's daughter and not rosalind's, y is swee neo holding on to the hairpin and not ah see?

ah see's existance and d explanation.
who was swee neo carrying in 1917?
was it ah see or emma?
if it was emma (as perceived) and she left her at the steps of the raffles hotel, then where was ah see?
since rosalind and her husband when to see boon reg their baby, and not swee neo's. it only made sense tt it was ah see and not emma.
then wat happen to ah see?
tt wasn't explained either.

ah see and alice's relationship.
so if alice's mdm chan and boon's daughter,
and boon is ah see's grandfather,
tt makes alice ah see's auntie.
they therefore cannot get married cos they are related.

hahahahaha.
jus some food for thot.
oki, im prolly confusing the hell outta everyone.

if you have watched it then i think ur know wat im talkin abt.
hahaha.
go watch!
tmr's last day of the run.

Singapore Repertory Theatre.
another company on my target list to work for.

after graduation, after graduation!
arrrrr.
they staging forbidden city in sept, while im in NS liao!
cant work on it!

arrrrr.

chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

2005-12-02T21:41:00.000+08:00

tis' the season's to be ho-ly.
ho.
ho.
ho.

ok.
cold.

im happy again.
cos it's xmas time!
and it's d season's to be jolly,
wa~kaka~kaka~.

oki.
heres the wk's rundown, compressed into this one entry.

thurs//
bing and chit were back frm their training in brunei.
and our dear papa joe brought us out for dinner.
gao chuang yi as usual, we went to this damn cool and romantic place
- D'equestrian paradise.
some horse stable off eng neo rd, near turf city.

the place was cool and all but guess wat.
they only served snacks.
so there we were.
7 hungry guys tucking into chicken wings and wedges.
aftertt we went over to adamn to meet jen and geraldine and the np cell grp.
it was geraldine's bdae and so we made a fool out of ourselves as usual.
yada-ed, yada-ed, yada-ed till like late then we went back home.

fri//
met bing n chit again, at orchard wif edwin.
walked, shopped, read books at kino and finally slacked at mos.
enjoyed d time of sharing at mos.
then bing n edwin went for family dinner.
i went to cut hair b4 going to meet chows wif chit.
met chows like freaking 930 for dinner at AV.
in btw had a gr8 talk wif chit.
it was long since the old west 5 gathered.
*those were the times*
glad to have tt chat tt nite.

sat//
it was back to editing the hdb vid.
hiah. nvr ending sia.
then at nite went to watch rent wif my mom and dad.

rent's disappointing.
in my opinion.

the cast lacked energy.
esp for such a hyped and energetic show,
they lacked tt punch.

karen mok was gd.
she wasnt the lead, but she was way betta than all of em.
she had so much stage presence.
and im not saying this bcoz i could recognize her from the all international-unknown cast.

the staging was quite disappointing too.
there was no change of set or watsoever.
wat u see is wat u get.
and at certain points, it could get quite boring.
altho the lighting was quite well designed and plotted.

tis was the first time tt i felt so disappointed watching a musical.
tis was the first time too, tt i felt so bored watching a musical tt i wanted it end soon.

im watching A Twist of Fate this sat.
hopefulli it'll b betta.

sun was the usual drill.
so was mon, tues and wed.

i gave myself a break yesterday.
hahaha.
yes again.

guess wat.
i finally trouped down to the gym to do some exercise.
haha.
kenny came over yest and we gymed.
was quite proud of myself.
hahaha.

and yes, i woke up tis morning aching everywhere.
haha.

was suppose to swim.
but gotta rush back up to do sth impt.
so we ended slacking at my hse and watching amazing race.
haha.

had a quite fruitful dinner discussing our **future plans**.
we talked talked talked till it was like 11 sth.
it was a simple day.

i like~.

i need a holiday.

2005-11-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

alright.
out dated.
yesh.
update!
yesh.

where shld i start.

well...when semper fi is stagnant, it means 2 things.
one// dare is busy. (he has no time to blog)
two// dare is depressed. (he has no mood to blog)

well.
the truth is.
one and two.

it seems tt its the season for depression.
everyone ard me seems depressed.
and ppl are talking abt it on their blogs.
lifang, janice, alan, leslie.
even jude and just.
even the stupid chesssy "depression" commercials on tv is starting to show up again!

so it gets to the qn.
am i depressed?

i dunno.
i wun say im depressed but its jus this feeling tt im jus merely surviving.
im wake up each day to go to sch.
to the daily rountine.
edit for the sake of completing the proj.

and its so bad!
i sat there at the edit today and edited tan xin.
it was gd, to say the least.
im proud of the new cut.
but tt excitement tt i once had,
tt excitement tt starts from home,
tt eagerness to run into the edit room and edit,
tt hype and adrenaline rush as i start editing,
is no longer there.

i edit
becos i haf to edit.

sianzation.
i need a break badly.
i so need it.
im not a spoilt brat.
i dun expect to go on a holiday every holiday.
but the last trip i went was like 2 years or 3 years back.
destination - i forgot.
its tt bad.

i need to get out of here.
to breathe fresher air.

so many things.
so little time.

ARRRRRRRGH.

quote sarah: "last sem liao..supposed to "treasure the last few months" but yet abit weird like that"

totally agree with her.
know exactly the feeling she's feeling.
thats how im feeling exactly.

trying hard to find my bearings.
trying hard to navigate out of the wilderness.
trying hard to come back to the feet of Jesus.
trying hard to come back to the heart of worship.

as for now,
dare is still merely surviving.

sample.

2005-11-14T08:58:00.000+08:00

how true.

2005-11-13T14:38:00.000+08:00

its freaky.
how this kind of "Personality Test" are so true.

Your Birthdate: July 21

You're a restless rebel with an unpredictable nature.
Bright but unbridled, you tend to seek out wild experiences over new ideas.
People are frustrated by your great potential, but you love your unconventional life.
You're a heartbreaker. People get attached to you, and then you're gone.

Your strength: Your thirst for adventure

Your weakness: Not taking time for slow pleasures

Your power color: Hot pink

Your power symbol: Figure eight

Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

above all.

2005-11-06T23:46:00.000+08:00

been missing out quite abit recently.
lotsa stuff goin on.
which is gr8.

d hols were fun.
i spent those 2 solid days at home packing my room.
now its starting to look like a home office.
gagaga.

im really very excited to start sch.
for whateva reason, i dunno.
dvd authoring class got me very excited.
i also dunno y.
mayb its the "first class of the semester - syndrome".
hopefulli tt excitement last for the whole semester.
i know it will.

3x is taking shape.
things are processing - praise God.
am really blessed by all the ppl.
blessed by all my friends.
i really appreciate all of them esp jus, jon and jude - j cube.
yr3 really show who my true friends are eh.
gagaga.

reach corp vid is looking gd too.
wif mark as our facilitator and mentor, im totally confident tt itll b gr8.

met wif bro vincent after church to talk abt the hdb vid shoot.
he likes the concept.
he's a gr8 person.
i love working wif him.
truly a man of God.

had a dpm shoot on fri at the ministry of foreign affairs.
DPM Jayakumar gave an appreciation speech for some law conference.
it was a cool shoot.
things were smooth.
enjoyed working wif edwin, daniel and michael and huey.
helped huey piece the edit together and we are off to sending it in.
i enjoyed the shoot.

went 4 evening service today.
enjoyed it.
darren and faith were singing.
they sang well.
and they sang my refuge.
tt song is beginning to be one of my favourite song too!

felt the love of God so strongly today.
i just wanna come back to the foot of the cross and head back to the heart of worship.
i love you Lord.

You were;
Crucified,
Laid behind a stone,
You live to die,
Rejected and alone,
Like a rose,
Trampled on the ground,
You took the fall,
And thought of me,
Above all.

PS: jus some randome ramblings of the pass week.
PS/PS: im getting sick of the Shan Shan song on my blog. gagaga. will change it soon=).

we need You, dear Lord.

2005-10-30T00:42:00.000+08:00

india was attacked by terrorist.

when i heard the news on the radio, i couldnt help but feel so sad.
its unlike me, come to think of it.
to b honest, it din really bother me when the twin towers were intruded.
nor the iraq war.
nor the bali bombing.

but when the news was reported over the radio, my heart sank.
dun ask me why.
mayb its the traits of the Cancer man.

what is this world coming to man?
the news really woke me up from my slumber.
tons of ppl are dying everyday without knowing You Lord.
the signs are showing.
your second return is nearing.
but plz, dun make it sooo soon.

You said in Your Word that disasters will strike.
destruction will come.
ppl will turn against one another.
all this in the end of days.

d world is in such a pathetic state.
life is no longer care-free.

the once care free world is now filled with destruction.
damn the devil.
the once perfect garden of eden was filled with destruction when d devil came into the picture.

damn you devil.
i hate you.

breaking down d wall.

2005-10-29T18:16:00.000+08:00

juz finished packing my room.
boi it took the whole day!
so many junk.
i haven exactly finish, actually.

sometimes i really think im a damn sentimental guy.
i came across this paper that i printed some time ago while packing.
as much as i dun belive in horoscope,
i think the description of me is really accurate.

here goes:
"The Cancer Man is the most sensitive man and the weakest emotional type in all Zodiac. Most artists are Cancer. Cancer is controlled by the "Moon" and the moon change its shape daily, so Cancer man's emotional and moods change all the time too. You will confuse with him and yet it is his constantly changes that "charm" you. (hahaha, i hope it does some charm*).

the most sensitive man who cannot stand rejetion. (hahaha, how true) He cares what other people feel or think of him. He hates loosing face and he tends to over protect himself, so sometimes people might think he is a cold person.

Gifted, creative, imaginative is Cancer. A mystery and complexity play a major role in a life of a Cancer man. He could be very funny, very quiet, suddenly extremely very sad. Living with him could be very unexpected, for you will not know what is his next mood. If you like excitement and surprise, you have the right guy and never have a chance to get bored."

and there is a whole lot more stuff...but i think particulary true is this line:
"his security is only when he has money in his pocket" ahahahahahahahahahahha! and then it goes on "even though he likes to make and keep money, he is not stingy. Spending money is part of his good image (i nvr thot of it tt way tho), so he will behappy to spend money to take you out to a very expensive meal or buy a jewelry for you" (hmmmm. i thot reall AGREE with the last line. hahaha!)"

im amazed on how true the "signs" are.
that doesnt mean i believe in horoscope, just.

i've decided.
i've decided to stand up and talk to someone abt it le.
church ppl shld know wat im talkin abt.
altho its hurting deep within,
i know i must move on.
but i really need Your strength, oh Lord.
i can't walk thru this by myself.
i need You, Lord.

"For what good is it for a man to profit the whole world but loses his soul?"

"suddenly the future seems so promising"

2005-10-29T00:15:00.000+08:00

i quote the title from jude.
hahaha.

well.
d future DOES seems a lil tad promising.

i started the year with a new hope.
its my final yr in sch.
damn.
its my final semester.
its now or never.

i told myself when i started the year tt im goin to make full use of tis yr.
im goin to excel in my work and do my very best in sch.
to realise and release my fullest potential.
its not about the grades.
its not about being a perfectionist.
but its really doing the best that i can ever do to know that i will not regret when i look back.

im tired of sitting still and do nothing.
im tired of waiting for opportunities to knock on my door.
heck.
ill go out and find them.
ill go out and make a future for myself.

shan shan.
tan xin.
three times a lady.
life and a little bit more.

and in between them,
wedding vidoes and corporate videos.

hue stripes is taking shape.
thnx just for always being there for me.
my supporter.
my motivater.
you know that i love you.
no not that kind of love.

thanks for being such a "BABEliciousssss" Producer.

wallpaper

2005-10-20T22:44:00.000+08:00

this is wats on my wallpaper currently:

key-dumb

2005-10-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

finally caught quidam wif my mom on closing nite.
yes.
under the blue and yellow top.
well.
damn tt ixus.
dunno wat happen last min my cam cant on!
missed takin d shots of the tent and everything else.
darn. darn. darn.

d show.
hmmm...some bits were boring, gotta b honest.
pacing wasnt realli right.
but the clown bits were damn funny.
d audience were very enthusiastic and sporting.
especially in spore.
they did stupid things.
some looked stupid.
but it was all for a gd laugh.

im amazed by their set design.
their unique fly system is amazing.
impressed.

been thinking of my future lately.
been meeting up wif some ppl.
thinking of setting up a small biz.
hopefulli it does work out.
at least i know im actively working and not juz sitting ard.
time to stand up and out and do sth abt it.

met bryan at bbdc.
my gd ol' close fren in lower sec.
signing up for driving.
wats wif ppl signing up for driving recently.
ernest's been buggin not to progress so fast so he catch up wif me.
boo.

basic theory lesson 1.01.
basic theory lesson 1.02.
basic theory lesson practise.
basic theory lesson trial & evaluation.
basic theory test.

so much to advance to driving proper.

had a personal retail therapy.
shopping's nvr felt tt gd before.
im happy.

gagaga//
theres still alot of wants tho.
sigh.
no work.
no money.
no therapy (for the moment).

WORK!

oap pics!!!!

2005-10-15T12:37:00.000+08:00

finally.
i got the pics frm felicia!!!
my internship pics @ mediacorp (on air promotions)

//
and no.
i din press d button 3X.
thot its quite cool to haf it published 3X.
looks like chungking poster (from far).
haha.

sick/sick/sick

2005-10-13T11:42:00.000+08:00

damn.
i spent the first 3 days of this wk lyin on bed.
somehow i woke mon morn feeling out of breath.
then it all started.
diarrhoea.
vomit.
headache.
fever.

i finally realised the meaning of shang(4) tu(4) xia(4) xie(4).
it was long since i remember the feeling of vomiting.
boi.
it realli sux.

so in the end, i missed
gabby's bdae.
moi theory lessons.
movies with several ppl.
jb trip wif andre.
and meet up wif nat.

boo. boo. boo.

met jon and jus yesterday at tcc.
more changes to the script.
then went to meet nat and the cast for reh.
candice is forever...hilarious.

dare's shoutout: I NEED MORE WORK!!!
money money money.
got some lobang frm papa joe.
hopefully it works out rite.
n im seriously considering getting an edit suite and a cam.

juz endless rumblings.
feature mtg tonite.
we are ready to rock and roll!

i live my life to give you praise...

2005-10-09T12:03:00.000+08:00

i used this title some time back in my blog.
tt was when i was on my spiritual high.
tt was when i have tasted of His goodness.
but what has changed?

LOST
My heart cries out;
I'm lost.
Inside me there's a turmoil that is stirring,
a volcano waiting to erupt.
This feeling inside of me,
I can't explain.

At the crossroads;
I'm lost.
Where there are so many paths in front of me,
the criss-crossing patterns.
The confusion spins inside of me,
I don't know which to take.

My only Comfort,
When I'm alone.
Lord, I need You,
Show me the way.
I need Your strength; to carry on.

I see a pattern;
why is it when trials come,
I'll run away and hide?
I'll choose to turn away from You?

Lord, teach me.

i wrote this poem some time back in my blog too.

Enough of hermitting.

But somehow, the immense amount of inertia that's been snowballed as a result... think it'll require a little bit more push...and time.

"We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed;
we are perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not forsaken;
struck down, but not destroyed -"2 Cor 4:7-9

jus an endless rant without any directions.
Lord show me the way.

grayline pictures

2005-10-06T12:24:00.000+08:00

lets talk abt wat ive been up to these days.
been seeing jus recently.
too much.
its bad for health.
gagaga.

d kind ppl frm huestripes are helpin our fellow "sweet sorrowfuls" wif their shoot!
grayline pictures.

their actors are so cute!
brenden is so cute.
jus cant stop thinkin of him.
its jon's cue to make babies wif her.
*grin*

cute brenden...with erm, not so cute jus? glee.
hue stripes production.

see wat i mean?

anyhow, d shoot yesterday was fun.
we had ice cream!!!
let me let u in wif some of the pics...

ice cream galore!!!!!!!!
hue stripes production.

tt lil thing. she is so happy wif ice cream...
hue stripes production.

oooh...and did i tell you tt the school's cubicles are very low!?!! its a pri sch but still...its so wierd!

d cubicles are really low!!!
hue stripes production.

jus proves my pt.
ahhahaha.

all in all, i love the crew.
except for the mad man and the cave man.
in no particular order.

xiuzhen looking pro wif the cam eh...!
hue stripes production.

d 3 PM(s) - just, jel, ah fang.
hue stripes production.

and dare wants alot of things this holiday://
holiday, work, a professional video camera, a digital slr, an ipod nano, an edit suite, shopping, shoes, bags, new tee, sandals and a new fone.
in no particular order.

d URGE.

2005-10-03T11:36:00.000+08:00

yesh.
after shan shan.
after tan xin.
after hearing all d ambitious plans.

its D URGE.
i wanna write another musical.

like d song?
stranger things have happened.
from the Wedding Banquet, the musical.

i love the counter melody.
where all three of them sing.
brilliant.
splendid.

i love counter melodies now.
they are so cleverly written.

looking for collaborators.
anyone wanna collaborate wif me for my new musical?
jude, ur definitely b my dp, shld it materialise=).

and here are some pics frm shan shan:

d recess scene.
hue stripes production.

superstar dp hard @ work.
hue stripes production.

me and shelia..
hue stripes production.

ah tau.
hue stripes production.

d duet stand-ins: eddy and tiarry...
hue stripes production.

d lunchbox scene...
hue stripes production.

kevin, jude and me on the jib arm.
hue stripes production.

i like this shot. so natural yet so staged.
hue stripes production.

pastense.

2005-10-02T13:40:00.000+08:00

woke tis morn and saw tis pic on my wall.

tts wat frens r for

me and the G4s.
hue stripes production.

thot of all d memories we shared in sec sch.
started msging kenny, my best fren in sec sch.
in army now.

started to feel all nostalgia altogether.
sec sch was the best time of my life.
and i realli enjoyed every moment of it.
funny how life is.
drives the nuts out of us.
work the shit out of us.
tt we dun even haf time to sit down and jus waste time over a cuppa coffee.

was browsing some photos we took last time.
glad tt all of us are doing well.
serene's planning a get together.
itll b a fun time together.

fmss - 4Class of 2002
hue stripes production.

in class..
hue stripes production.

on d monkey bar...
hue stripes production.

all of us @ sentosa.
hue stripes production.

a broken heart for the broken hearted.

2005-09-30T18:09:00.000+08:00

"if my heart was broken, would you give me yours?"
- by jonathan ng.
copyright 2005, all rights reserved.

haha.
sounds so familar.
seems so dejavu!

had my med checkup yesterday.
it was fun.
met julius and chris there.
reckon it was more "calm" when ppl u know r wif u.

well.
guess wat.
i got into PES D.

the status says -
"Temporarily unfit and pending further medical review".

and heres wat the medical report says -
"The above-named patient was found to have a working diagnosis of having a short early systolic murmur of grade 2/6 over the LLSE, otherwise asymptomatic clinically. Please conduct a 2D ECHO study for him."

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
i din understand a line from tt "working diagnosis".
medical language alright.

wah lau.
they said sth to do wif my heart.
and im suppose to go to Alexandra hospital for further checkup.
scary sia.

dunno wat will happen.
mayb my heart is really broken.
gagaga.

nonetheless, i enjoyed the morning's check.
all ready to b part of the national service regime.
hmmm.
must b all that propaganda.
i was quite surprised that they actually play "normal" radio music at cmpb.
i thot they will play some mari kita or count on me spore song, jus like tekong.
at least they are still normal.

wat really sux was the last station.
no, not the stripping and coughing part.
tt was surprisingly fast and easy.
in the blink of the eye and its over.

its the "vocational assessment" station.
we had to sit in this stupid computer room for 11/2 hr to do some tests.
all sorts.
maths, science, logic...
it was so stressful.
1/2 of my brain cells were used up liao.
i haven seen all those maths qn since god knows when.
and suddenly im suppose to multiply this fraction with that percentage.
gawd.

i think i din score too well.
but for now, its still "temporarily unfit and pending further medical review".
i dun like the word unfit.
ill make sure ill get it reduced to jus fit.

2005-09-28T14:03:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: July 21

Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.
The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.
There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.
Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.
You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.
Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about.
You are affectionate and loving, but very sensitive.
You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

hahahhaa...how true.
im a fussy nut.

moving on...

2005-09-28T11:04:00.000+08:00

firstly.
its official.
IT'S A WRAP!
finally.

after 9 months of pre-production.
after 2 months of rehearsals.
after 3 weeks of intense filming.
it's finally over!

phew.

say bye bye to:
fat joe.
his ^mistress^.
bed bugs.
hougang ave 3, blk 3.
d stinky kitchen and toilet.
d stale air.
d walking downstairs to use the toilet.
d walking to the community centre to use the toilet.
d ride to fang's hse to use the toilet.
d soaking of my clothes everyday when i go home.
d scrubbing of my cooler box everyday when i bring it home.
d stinky smell of my clothes after a day's of shoot inside tt house.

finally.
its clean and green once more.
its dove smell/original source lemon smell once again.
its back to nice clothes than black overalls.

ok.
'nuff of me ranting.

i will miss the crew.
i really love our crew.

im glad ive found my collaborators.
i will always want to work wif jude as my dp.
i will always want jus as my producer.
im now looking for a music composer and asst editor tt i can collaborate wif in the long run.

but i think it wun b long till our nex collaboration on the upcoming feature^^^.
woopee.
not tt i can say anything abt it yet*.

anyway, here's my tribute to all the crew of tan xin, esp our lovely yr2s.
justicia, tia, jude, kevin, junxian, val:

justicia, harie, tia, me, jude, kevin, junxian and val.
hue stripes production.

this past yr haf been a blast for me.
thnx for occupying all my slpless nites working on tan xin.
d back breaking (not to mention countless) meetings all ard spore (AT the most expensive places, ^thank u very much^)
d many sacrifices
d many outings together
d chill outs
d pains we go thru
d happy times
d not so happy times
d misunderstandings and miscommunication and the thrashing out session and the making up patching times
d problems of housing fat joe and his mistress
d obstabcles tt we had to climb and overcome (and we did!)
d ride home and everything in btw...

they were all splendid.
thnx for giving me such sweet memories tt i will nvr forget in this lifetime. there's more in stored!
investors will soon come knocking on our doors.
ghee.
i see HUE STRIPES PRODUCTION getting the circle with the R in it very soon!
glee.

harie, janice, leslie, zul, syed, alan, kokyeow, lifang, geneieve and amanda:

alan, leslie, geneieve, janice, lifang, kokyeow, zul and syed.
hue stripes production.

man, u guys are awesome!
i nvr seen such an array of talents put together so wonderfully like u guys.
u guys are the best crew ive ever worked wif.
dedicated and willing to learn.
thnx so much frm our bottom of our hearts.
thnx for everything u guys haf done to make tan xin a success.
we couldnt have done it without you!

what's next?
POST PRODUCTION.
but before tt, WRAP PARTY is up first.

moving on...
we all need to move on.
we cant juz be smelling tan xin forever.
and tt is wat HUE STRIPES is doing.
watch world.
we will b back.
this time stronger, more knowledgeable, bigger and betta.
2006 - here we come.

running past d gravel.

2005-09-26T19:19:00.000+08:00

im not myself today again.
tired.
frustrated.
hurts.
exhausted.
esteem.

i realli think production teaches me alot.
not only jus technicalities but many more impt skills.
lookin back in my 3 yrs,
the dining table humbled me quite alot.
as i found my partners in studio pro, doc pro and film pro.
im glad i was part of the then hue stripes production.
ive also seen the ugly side of ppl in film pro.
ive seen the ugly side of me too.

and i dun like it.

if one thing i ever need to learn,
its self control.
i think i need to learn to let go sometimes and not b a perfectionist.
it needs to b more of God and less of me.
it needs to be God's strength than my adrenaline.

i need HIM.
i realli need HIM so badly.
bcos i hate this feeling im feeling inside.
but what can i do?
start over again?
i dunno.
i want to.
but it seems so hard.
its so hard jus taking the first step in.

its tis feeling when u haven seen ur best fren for ages.
u did sth wrong to make him angry.
and then u finally meet him again after all tis yrs.
questions run thru ur mind.
-watcha gonna do?
-watcha gonna say?
-how do you start from here?
-to approach him or jus pretend tt its over?
-to want to make the bad good or jus overwrite the past?

tts the feeling im getting.

i know you love me.
i want to love you too.
im trying to.

its coming to an end...

2005-09-24T17:57:00.000+08:00

october's coming.
production is ending.

finally, we are at the 50m mark.
2 more days of shoot left to go.
looking back, it had been a gr8 experience.

1/2 of me wants the prod to end.
dreads the tiredness.
dreads the weariness.
dreads the hougang flat.
dreads the bed bugs, stinky, stale air.

but 1/2 of me wishes tt tan xin nvr ends.
misses the fun.
misses the crew.
misses the time spent together.
misses the roadtrip.

its truly been a blast.
tis production brought me closer to kevin and jude.
the ride home's everyday in the van.
the time's we spent "bonding".
im glad to know them better.
im glad to know the yr2s better.
and im glad to be doing my specialist with my gd ol frens - justicia, tia and junxian.
its icing on the cake.
its cherries in the ice cream.

specialist has taught us so much.
all the problem solvings, the detours, the navigations and re-navigations (if that's even a word).
it has taught us how to see the big picture, look out of the box and forces us to come out with creative ways to solve problems.

its coming to an end:
sun - botanic gardens, kang's flat
mon - toa payoh ext.

telecine's on d 1st.
followed by the celebratory party.
followed by harie's spec.
afterwhich can we all have the official wrap party for tan xin and shan shan.

jus some pictures taken in btw takes:

im a sexxxxxy nurse...
hue stripes production.

dp deep in thots...
hue stripes production.

leslie posing with the colour chart
hue stripes production.

alan and me posing in btw takes.
hue stripes production.

and when the going gets tough...
hue stripes production.

hafin a bite of d apple with steph. notice jx in the bkgrd.
hue stripes production.

guess who?

2005-09-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

whos who.
guess who?
d cast & crew of tan xin.

cast & crew
hue stripes production.

emo nite.

2005-09-19T02:54:00.000+08:00

its zhong qiu jie.
d moon is damn round and bright.

mtg place: clarke quay, bungy.
all were late. waited for 1/2 hr.
see the river shimmering, reflecting the night sky lights - emo.
see the sky with the moon shining bright - emo.
see the bungy jumping high and higher - emo.
wished i bungying with someone next to me.
screaming.

it was a road trip again.
satay-ed at clarke quay and a failed attempt to enter zenzie.
ended up at coffee club at town.

d whole gang was saying some stupid butterfly joke.
it was damn lame, i had to admit.
but i wasnt myself tonite.

its funny how u can feel so alone even with so many ppl is ard you crapping.
its an emo nite.
i thot i was strong.
but i thot wrong.
suddenly, im not the derrick i thot i am.

there is a tugging inside of me,
the pains and hurts that no one sees,
what is this feeling i'm feeling inside?
who will be there for me to abide?

now will they understand,
the things that i've been through,
the sleepless nights,
as the moon shines bright,
i was there, all alone -

if life is worth the living for,
when is my time to soar?
all my life, it has always been this way -

if life is worth the living for,
when is my time to soar -
all my life, it has always been this way,
who will be there for me to abide?

life is worth the living for,
SHAN SHAN, the musical.

beyond d aXis of truth.

2005-09-18T16:45:00.000+08:00

beyond d aXis of truth//.
hue stripes production.

i love this show!!!
im nvr a fan of mediacorp's drama, but i have to admit tt tis is a damn gd production by ch8.

finally, gone are the days with those chessy family dramas with family squabbles, third party love triangles and all those propaganda dramas on making more babies, kidney foundation messages and cancer awareness drama - how chessy can that get.

finally, a compelling combination of mystery, suspense, drama and non-linear narrative that provokes, interacts and makes one think. its also a clever marketing technique that will make viewers glue on to the screen come every night. and that is true, at least for me.

it doesnt matter that my shoot extends to the wee hours of the morning. there is always sth called a recorder=).

six mind-blowing cases and unique story-telling devices and research materials including time-travel, human cloning, a man with a half-brain, electricity-zapping red-haired women, latent genes and plant-human hybrids.

the series is also accompanied with superb cinematography and lighting, amazing sets and art direction, a talented cast and powerful editing. (ps: i love the editing! - yes, im a post-man freak.)

you just gotta watch it for urself man!
you can read more about it here.
now, i sounded like im part of the the promotions and publicity team.
no, its jus tt my favourite actress whom ive worked together so closely previously, ivy lee and stella ng is in it=).

beyond the axis of truth,
there lies a mystery waiting to be answered.

nites out.

2005-09-17T05:05:00.000+08:00

its 0508hrs.
and im still awake.
juz came home not long frm chill out wif the crew.
talking to janice.
i cant slp.
no motivation to blog.
but nth to do, so juz rant.

supper and drinks - 2 nites in a row.
and an overnite shoot tmr.
woohoo.

tpy carpark scene shoot was fun.
relaxing again.
wait till tmr comes.
overniter and a long dreading scene.
but im sure we can pull it thru.
wortz wif all the super star ppl ard.
we will rock the hse anytime.

we are very fortunate.
one of the most fortunate spec grps.
a great ensemble of talents:
harie, janice, leslie, zul, syed, alan, kok yeow, lifang, amanda, genevieve.
thnk u guys.

tan xin is nth without you guys.
and to the fantastic team of 7,
hue stripes rules.

taugay not enough.

2005-09-15T07:23:00.000+08:00

the taugay crew with PM Lee.
hue stripes production.

its official.
i'll stick to tee and berms.
i look like a stone in the pic.
shirt and pants is not for me.

embrace the shit.

2005-09-14T19:16:00.000+08:00

notice the same title as jus?
sure.
i copied her whole entry down=):

Embrace the shit.
And so we all did.

There were more obstacles for us today, but we overcame them eventually. Nothing is too tough for us anymore. Nothing.

We will swallow whatever that comes our way and we will regurgitate them into something far better and bigger.

We have overcome our biggest problems. The group can officially overcome anything as of this moment.

This specialist is too memorable for us all. I will never forget it. The things we have to go through are things that I never thought would happen in my wildest dreams. But they did, and we worked around them.

How awesome can my group be? We're family, that's why we can solve any problem together. We work so damn well as a group.

External conflicts can always be resolved, so long we're strong internally. And we are. : )

I cannot imagine how we will feel when the film is finally completed. I think I'll cry. Heh. The sense of accomplishment is going to be immense with so many obstacles in our way.

------------------------------------------------------------------

this is gonna b a damn memorable film.
come to think of it, yr3 is a damn memorable yr.
i love yr3.

gawd.
we spent 1.5K on that fat joe and his mistress (girlfriend? wife? fling? prostitute?) ^oops^.
now we r housing them in a hotel in geylang jus so we can get them out of sight of the flat and haf a piece of mind filmin in there.

for the record:
- pest control cleaning of the flat
- cleaning services of the flat
- rental of the flat
- groceries money for fat joe
- installation of lock for safety measures
- hotel rental for 2wks for fat joe and his ...
- taxi fare for fat joe and his ...
- food allowance for fat joe and his ...

damn.
i feel like im a charity organization.
not a filmmaker.
for the sake of art.
for the sake of the film.
for the sake of the feel of the location.
for the sake of tan xin.

it will bloody hell hit new grounds and fly overseas.
i love my grp.
i love the ride home with the boys.

who am i.

2005-09-13T14:26:00.000+08:00

who am i,
that the Lord of all the earth,
would care to know my name,
would care to feel my heart.
...
...
i am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow,
a wave tossed in the ocean,
a vapor in the wind -

still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord You catch me when I'm falling,
and You told me who I am...
I am Yours...I am Yours...

craving.

2005-09-13T14:14:00.000+08:00

im craving for ben and jerries' peanut butter ice cream!!!

Day 4//

2005-09-13T10:57:00.001+08:00

its day four of spec//.

my day started early morning with media law exam.
im vying for an A or hopefully? AD=).
no less than tt.
d exam was easy, to say the least.
but very tedious, coz of all the essay qn.
i hope i do well.
i know i will.

anyway, with tt stupid exam off,
its the end of the freaking stressful and busy YEAR 3.1!
rejoice~!

its only spec left in my mind now.
press on!
push on!
we will get there.
after every tiring day, i live on to know that october draws near=).

anyways, the tau gay gang was invited to haf lunch with PM Lee at the Istana!!!
i was quite excited.
i mean ive been to the istana so many times for band performances back in sec sch and also for the swearing in of PM Lee.
but tis time it was lunch wif PM. woah.
felt so important for once in my life.
when henry drove pass the security, they said this:
"oh, since you guys have been invited by the PM, you guys don't need to come down and go thru the security checks. we will help you check your car for you..."

hahaha...being a VIP for once is quite shiok too.
anyway...it was nerve wrecking. siew bee, alice, leonard and me was placed on the same table as PM.
it was kinda stressful come to think of it.
leonard was very nervous.
he kept smiling and smiling and smiling. (he was sitting NEXT to PM)
>>> gagaga...i know he will b reading this...=)

anyway, Mr. Lee came and we had lunch.
he's very nice and friendly.
nvr felt tt "close to his heartbeat" before.

i nvr been like up close and personal with any ministers b4.
so it was really a great experience.
he gotta know more abt np and the tau gay production.
and also learnt more about the difference abt film and video.

mayb we shld send him a copy of tan xin when its ready next yr and also invite him as guest of honour for our screening!
im sure he would be very excited.

anyways, aftertt, i went home to change and bathe and head down to tpy for my spec shoot. it was a simple scene: corridor insert, 1 shot, dolly track.

it was relaxed and cool.
i enjoyed it.
i love my crew.

pictures speak louder than words:

d corridor scene: super star dp on dolly with d dolly boys.
hue stripes production.

2005-09-13T10:56:00.001+08:00

a frame within a frame: and im so amazed.
hue stripes production.

this ppl realli know how to pose.
hue stripes production.

2005-09-13T10:56:00.000+08:00

all of us falling over heels on alan...
hue stripes production.

2005-09-13T10:55:00.000+08:00

janice and alan under syed's...erm...pants.
hue stripes production.

2005-09-13T10:53:00.000+08:00

leslie and alan acting gay > as usual.
hue stripes production.

as it gets going...

2005-09-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

its day 3 of spec shoot.

we are goin slowly...but steadily.
altho we had some glitches such as the weather, which screwed up a lil of my schedule (again!!!), its a blast!

i love the shoots.
film rocks.
anything tt is shot on film rocks!
i love our park scene.
i love our stairs scene.

wait till we go into kang's flat.
hmm.
a wierd feeling lurks.
"spiritual atmosphere" - quotes tia.
but in any how, we will make sure we pull it thru.

2 scenes down.
2 damn bloody gd scenes down.
october seems so near!

im learning to handle ppl.
i love my AD role.
i get to love, care, boss, direct, take care, cuddle, hug my crew.
i get to use different "techniques" at different "circumstances".
im learning tia.
im learning jus.
im learning to b firmer yet nice.
im learning to b nice yet not let ppl climb over.

im learning.
specialist is all abt learning.
but i love my crew to bits.
my spec team rocks.
my external crew rocks too.

how can we ever express our thanks to you:
harie, janice, leslie, zul, syed, alan, kokyeow, lifang, amanda and genevieve.
you guys make tan xin possible.

lights fade.
cue MC:

ladies and gentlemen, hue stripes production proudly presents;
TAN XIN (Conversations)

Music fades up as opening titles fades up on screen.

Day One: EXT. PARK

2005-09-09T11:21:00.000+08:00

wooohoooooooooooooooooo
its day one!
jus few hours before our first shoot.

im so excited jus preparing for the shoot!
gagaga.
holding the film stock is sheer excitement.
its chilled and nicely packed in my cooler=).

we are goin to haf an "opening ceremony" later.
it will start of by tia's opening speech followed by my briefing.
no roast pig or joss sticks tho.
but we'll end wif a prayer.

God has been good to us.
I have experienced His favour and blessings towards us and i believe there will be more to come.

The house lights fade and the music plays. I sit there waiting eagerly as the story slowly unfolds before me:

Gina: I got it!
Harry: Got what?
Gina: That phrase that doesn't get meaningless through repetition.
Harry: What is it?
Gina: I'll tell you one day when I mean it.

Harry gets it.

Harry (with a hint of smile): Me?
Gina: No?
Harry (pretending to guess): Happily ever after?
Gina: No. Once upon a time.

They reach out to each other and hold hands.
The sun rises.

this is my Father's love: this day i know.

2005-09-08T19:48:00.000+08:00

Because I know,
I know He loves me,
Because I saw,
The blood He shed for me,
He died for me,
To set me free -

From Heaven to earth,
He came to serve,
Died out of love,
This is my Father's love.

Because I know,
I know He loves me,
Because I saw,
The blood He shed for me,
Died out of love,
He sacrifice His life -

So I could live,
His word I will breathe,
Amazing love,
I'll always cherish -

Jesus, Wooh ---
Jesus, worthy of praise -
Jesus, exalted on high -
Jesus, such is my Father's love
This day I know.

speaks exactly my thoughts//
a song i wrote.
think its nice.
haha...duh.
i wrote it.

This is my Father's love.
Lord, now i know.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

the result of 9 months of hard work.
no, im not talking abt pregnancy!
its specialist.

tmr's our first day of shoot.
and im very excited, to say the least.
no nerve wrecks coz im not directing//thnk god.
if not ill be panicing and dun slping properly.
gagaga.

not tt tia is not slping and panicing.
mayb she is.
i dunno?
gagaga.

im a happy AD
despite all the stupid production schedules changes.
but well, tts filmmaking.
its the art of putting it altogether.

know how our seniors haf names for their films like - the ganganians?
we are called the conversationist and siewbee's grp: the afflictors.
gagaga.
wat abt adeline's?
very simple.
the chicks.
im still trying to decide whether its suppose to be pun intended or not.
or is it called dramatic irony?
oxymoron?
i feel so literature all of a sudden.

forthesakeofart//

random rants...

2005-09-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

im on a blogger's high.
there are times where you feel you juz wanna write.write.write.
im goin thru those times.

life's betta to me.
workload's getting lesser for me.
after tmr's postpro test, im done for postpro!!!
gagaga! finally.

you guys do not know how much i had to go thru.
but its finally over!
hiah//but im kinda scared for spec tho.
reason's i think i sucked in online and we are going to do online for spec! and guess wat...im doing it.
i dun care. val will b my asst editor!!!
zang.zang.zang.
and im goin to burst b4 postpro ends so val can take over!!!

wooooooooooooooooooh.
im goin crazy.
postpro making all of us crazy.
siew bee is going nuts.
shes always nuts come to think of it.
arrrrgriiilll...//random rants.

im easily high these days...
must b all those peanut butter m&ms im eating.
there are the best thing on earth.
peanut butter.
whoever invented that man.
hes a genius.

peanut butter m&ms/
peanut butter toast/
peanut butter ice cream/
ben and jerries peanut butter ice cream!!!!
wwwwwoooooooooooooooooooollalalala.
orgasms.

specialist.

2005-09-06T23:54:00.000+08:00

im a sensitive new age guy.
mayb a tad too sensitive.
i dunno y siah.
i get realli emo and sensitive recently.
wortz wrong wif me man.
i even came out with a song.
mayb tts gd.
i shld b more emo.

sigh.
but one thing i know for sure, i gotta move on.

specialist>>>
wat a profound term for our thesis proj!
feels like im kind of highly skilled professional.

im glad tt we have thrashing sessions now and then.
i actually enjoy them, to be honest.
at least we can be honest to one another.
i admit i was detached frm the grp bcos of the other workloads.
i admit tt i felt left alone and unbelonged.
but now i know.
i nvr felt so loved b4.
it almost felt like ive been hugged by the grp.

thnx hue stripes.
spec A's AD liao.
its done.
now its time we go head on for spec B.

shoot's in 3 days time.
its time to recover.
recuperate.
refresh.
recharge.

spec B will be a blast.
B for Blast.

hue stripes - as in HUE STRIPES
(not huey strip).

song of job

2005-09-05T11:34:00.000+08:00

Galvin's fren (Sebastian's) song never fails to pick me up when i am down.
I thank god for galvin for being such a blessing unto my life.

Verse
When clouds of darkness,
Overwhelms my soul,
When the strength of my heart,
Is swept away.

When my friends have left me,
All hope seem far away,
When the words of comfort,
Refuse to stay -

Pre-chorus
There's a song in the night,
There's a light in the dark,
There's a gentle voice that soothes my heart.

Chorus
For I know that my Redeemer lives,
And His love for me will never end,
My heart, my flesh may fade away,
Yet with my eyes I'll see my God.

Verse
In the quiet corner,
In the still of night,
Your tender presence lifts me high.

My sweet Companion,
My Strength and Guide,
My soul's deep anchor, in You I abide.

Pre-Chorus
You're the song in the night,
You're the light in the dark,
You're the gentle voice that soothes my heart.

Chorus
For I know that my Redeemer lives,
And His love for me will never end,
My heart, my flesh may fade away,
Yet with my eyes I'll see my God.

I live my life to give you praise,
Everyday, every breath, every beat of my heart -
This life is captured by Your grace,
To worship who You are, who You are.

moving on...

2005-09-05T01:21:00.000+08:00

finally met up w jerm at his place after so long.
hes goin into army tis fri morn.

had a nice long chat.
we talked alot.
our struggles.
our lives.
our ministries.
our past r/s.
our hurts.
our pains.

guess d things we have gone thru this past yr r very similar.
but thru the whole long conversation, ive learnt sth:
move on.

like it or not, i gotta move on.
everything's moving.
time's ticking.
people's changing.

respect jerm's decision.
ive always seen him as my older bro.
always respected and looked up to him.
this time's no difference.

people come and go.
people say things that hurts us so-
but so long as we know that we are innocent,
that's more than enough.

im learning to move on.
and i guess jerm is.
im tryin to fall in love with Him once again.
im tryin to break that wall down again.

Lord i need Your strength.
he needs Your strength too Lord.

wateva his decision is, i'll always support him.

enjoy ur remaining time b4 tekong comes bro!
oh, and we are goin jamming on tues ye?

jiayou.

sweet wkend//

2005-09-05T00:58:00.000+08:00

had a fruitful wkend.
(despite work being interspersed in btw).

had reh on sat.
freaking 9am.
(im trying to b holy here. im trying to not swear TT much).
couldnt wake up - fever, headache.
thnk god it was betta after panadol.
chiong cab down - freaking $10 bucks (its at bedok)

met lifang and syed.
our yr 2s' crew.
i think d whole crew is great.
i love them so much. they are so professional.
and janice's my 2nd AD. dun need to b stressed ok? i wun eat u up=).

lunched at 85 market...it was heavenly.
it was fun crapping and gossiping=).
haven sat down as a grp to juz crap and juz enjoy life.

went for EX. ps diana (our philippines missionary) visited us and preached.
erm..lets juz say im not used to her preaching style.
it was a lil slow n draggy.
had to leave towards the end to meet cast.

thnk god we got stephanie.
i know its real last min.
1 wk prior to shoot and we are still casting for our nurse.
but the previous actor really cant pull off the role la...
thnk god for stephanie - now we got our cast locked and settle for our spec!
phew - sigh of relief.

and to end the sweet evening, it was cafe cartel dinner wif the 86 gang.
altho this time it was only tia, zihao, jheng and jemie, it was still very fun.
finally, i get to juz unwind, say bye to work and enjoy in the company of gd friends.
it was relaxing for once.
it was a luxury i need to haf more often!

mr. superstar...

2005-09-05T00:02:00.000+08:00

the plan:
leave sch at 6.
reach home by 7.
watch the makin of the superstar at 730.
watch superstar at 8.
switch channel con-currently to see nathan's swearing in ceremony.

the outcome:
camped in sch till 10 doing editing.

how sad.

but well, i wasnt exactly excited abt superstar. i wanted junyang and xin huey so badly =(. weilian and kelly werent tt exciting to hear.

but well, i caught a lil bit of the finals anyhow. i have to say tt im really impressed by kelly. she did so damn well. i love her imaging and styling. her hair and outfits for every song was like...man...wedding shoot! she was gorgeously pretty sia. weilian's the usual, stiff and stale look. ok, im mean. but how interesting can his dressing get? and how interesting can his performance onstage get?

ok, im no discrimanator here. i love him. but hello, its a competition and your favourites are not in...so...sorry! i still want junyang and xin huey!

anyway, weilian won. which again, i feel so angry abt. kelly shld b 1st. d judges said so too. her performance proved it all. so y is weilian winning? sympathy votes? or politics? oh well. its none of my business.

i cant sing remember?
i croak.

anyway, junyang and xin huey will b signing on to a record label...so im happy.

Is Life Worth the Living for?

2005-08-06T21:13:00.000+08:00

There is a tugging inside of me,
The pain and hurts that no one sees,
What is this feeling inside?
Who will be there for me to abide?

Now will they understand,
The things that I've been through,
The sleepless nights,
As the moon shines bright,
All my life, All alone...

If life is worth the living for,
When is my time to soar,
All my life, it has always been this way,

If life is worth the living for,
When is my time to - soar - .
All my life, it has always been this way,
Who will be there for me to abide?

my aspirations...

2005-07-31T23:36:00.000+08:00

tis thot came to me last nite:

when i was young, i wanted to be a magician. so that i can make all my disappointments and hurts disappear in a disappearing act.

then i realise i don't have that kind of magical power.

then i slowly got interested in acting and want to be an actor. so that i can pretend to be someone else, play a happy role and conceal those disappointments and hurts.

then i realise im not good looking enough to be a star.

now im a filmmaker. i write stories how i want them to be. i control what i like and what i don't.

i hope i don't suck at it, or else i've to find some other job...

presenting to you SHAN SHAN, a true life story.
COMING SOON.

bdae day

2005-07-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

i thot i wrote an entry on my bdae...juz had the urge to..

today's hatch day. din feel anything special. woke up like its any other day. then i sat on my bed and thot...hmmm, mayb i shld do sth different today. so i took a quick bath and cabbed down to west coast mac for breakfast to celebrate my bdae alone. it was quick cool. and the view there at west coast, the sea, the sun and the trees swaying wif honey hotcakes...its simply nice.

my day was filled with work, work and more work. i had a series of three meetings starting from 3 all the way till 11 juz now. in a way, it sux. but in a way...i enjoyed it. come to think of it, this three meetings allow me to meet 3 of my old friends whom i haven been in contact for some time le! i met weilin, my gd old pri/sec sch fren who is helpin me choreograph my final yr musical film, whose bdae is tmr...which is a day after mine=). then i met tiffy for cast meeting. and had dinner n coffee wif her and tia till david came for music meeting...which its also like 2 yrs since i saw him.

all in all...today's quite fun. receive many smses wishes. well..not as much as last yr tho. but these days bdae dun realli carry much of a meaning to me. im juz happy tt i know the people whom i care and love, care and love me too. tts more than enuff.

THAT ASIDE, london kena bombed again. its damn sad, tho i dunno the full report yet. im guessing tt channel news asia will run a full bulletin tmr with repeated news broadcast. my dear cousin must have been dragge down to the office to do the report i suppose.

something interesting i realised. sept 11 happened on my dad's bdae. yes, his bdae is on the 11th Sept. now, london kena blasted on my bdae. so im joking that sth will happen on my mom's bdae which is on 8 aug, jus b4 national day. mayb singapore? who knows. nowhere's safe now.

keepin' d promise...

2005-07-13T21:37:00.000+08:00

copied wholesale frm jerm's blog.
but i know he wun mind.=)
totally speak my mind.

You said, “Pick yourself up and walk again,
My hand you’re sure to find.”
I know You’ll keep Your end of the deal
Lord, help me to keep mine.

You specialise in making new starts
out of deadends.

quarter life crisis - when shit hits the fan.

2005-07-06T18:15:00.000+08:00

im going through a quarter life crisis. i go back home everyday tired, sprained back and aching legs.

theres juz so many things to do! post pro, spec and afp. tt is like the best combi you can ever get. im breaking apart. somehow a lil defeated for casting for spec. cant really b bothered abt it. lack of drive. tts bad. afp is tedious. i know. i keep tellin myself to push the limits but its like your pushing with all your strength but you see no road ahead.

seriously, no one can really understand wat im goin thru. mayb postpro students. but not TOTALLY. when u juz add postpro, spec and afp, TOGETHER with the grp members in it. its hell. no, spec members are not hell. they are my only solace. but everything ard me is. im being pushed to the limits. my limits. my lecturers has expetations for me, my team has expectations of me and i myself have set high expectations for myself. but it has reached the peak. 1K tone. -20db. no...above 20db. distorted. i have this feeling that im breaking apart real soon.

dun ask me to relax. pray. calm down or do anything of those sort. it doesnt work. at least for me. perhaps if my team members can juz b a lil more understanding towards me, give pats on my shoulder and tell me to press on. i need lotsa of care, love and concern, especially when ur lecturers are marc and leonard. the power packed superstar lects. give me the strength to overcome my fear. give me the peace to overcome the stress.

i need lotsa of care, love and concern.

cuppa of coffee - my fav afternoon tea.

2005-07-02T14:59:00.000+08:00

ive been spending a bomb recently. i realised tt ive been goin for afternoon tea for the whole entire of last wk!

they were either mtgs for afp, spec or ED with jus. but...well, ED wasnt TT successful. we ended up talking abt..."love, life and relationship". well...im juz happy for her, to say the least. as long she's happy. embrace the moment. boi, i sound like my supervisor.

you dunno wat is love till you are wounded.
you dunno wat is good till you tasted bad.
you dunno wat is pure till you are filthy.

and i thank god for a wounded, bad and filthy grp for afp that really make me love my spec grp even more. i shant talk alot of afp, but i jus thank god tt theres tia to carry 1/2 of the other load, tho i know shes breaking apart too.

boi, yr3 is demandind and challenging. but i love the stress. im embracing it. tis is all abt filmmaking. and im doing all tt in my final yr!

if i nvr ever express this to you guys personally, that's coz im shy. not i dun care. but here goes. (i know u guys will b reading):

to my beloved producer and my jie mei hua - juicy juice:
thanks for being such a power packed super star producer. you get all our shit and reproduce it to gold. you stand on your two small feet (not mentioning your petite frame), yet you are the backbone and d strength of pillar of another 6 men! thanks for ur unflinching dedication and vision for the team. your reminders and sms-es and emails always show how dedicated you are. thanks for going the extra mile.

to my top notch, the classic, world-renowed, sexy (<-- tho i know ill b told to delete tt part) director - tia *pronounce as "tear":
if you think that you are inadequate, no your not. if you think you may ever disappoint the grp, no you are wrong. none of us are perfect, we make mistakes. but the main thing is tt we learn as a grp, we support one another as a grp and we remind and caution about the mistakes/problems arising as a grp. i have 100% faith tt u will fly CONVERSATIONS WITH MARIE to Cannes. embrace d joy and stress d director's role brings. its euphoria. it really is. trust me. believe in yourself, coz we all believe in you.

to both my producer and director, as your asst producer/asst director, i will always be there to bend over backwards to support you guys. i will be that strength of pillar to the grp and will b the best AP/AD you can ever find. tts my expectations. i will give u my 101%. i will always b there for you guys.

with me sayin tt, spec is gettin more juicy with juicty juicty. as i put it - it's mating season again!

there's something going on...

2005-06-26T21:43:00.000+08:00

there's really something going on...

i love my group. i dun mind juz soaking the whole day in meetings with them. i love the script; and i love my actors. hue stripes will travel to places we can never imagine. and i am doing all that in my final yr of sch. sch has nvr been tt fun.

been mtg ppl these days. met shirley during dinner yesterday. and she asked D qn. i have no ans to tt...all i have to say is that ive drawn a line across the page. theres two ways to look at this: either it is the finale, or a transition to the next scene.

i dunno. perhaps its the intermission. how long is tt, i really dunno.

i really love the song "you are the reason". nice melody and tune. its spinning the whole day.

there's something really going on here...it's called specialist.

CASTING CALL!!!

2005-06-16T17:18:00.000+08:00

Hue Stripes Production (A School of Film & Media Studies Graduation Specialist Film Production) is currently producing CONVERSATIONS WITH MARIE; a 15 minutes short film shot on 16mm film, for its final year graduation specialist production.

Directed by the world class famous, the beautiful and sexy TIA QUAH SIEW JUAN, CONVERSATIONS WITH MARIE is a heartwarming story of KANG and MARIE. MARIE nurses KANG in a nursing home, where she works. She does this out of duty but as time slowly reveals, a special relationship is formed. Possibly hints of love and an interesting sexual tension.

We are looking for talented actors/actresses to play the following roles:

1) KANG: Elderly man - looks to be 55 - 70 years old. Thin, fair skinned and short hair. Looks charming (if possible), fairly good-looking.

2) MARIE: Young lady - looks to be 23 - 29 years old. The nurse - sweet, caring and loving. Slim, average height, should not be too tall. Good-looking.

3) RYAN: Young man - looks to be 26 - 34 years old. Marie's supposed boyfriend. Rich, funky, arty - the way how designers look. Ability to drive a plus. Fairly good-looking.

***Note: All roles are chinese speaking roles.

If you are interested, please email your CV + a copy of a full body shot + head shot to huestripes@yahoo.com.sg and we will get back to you shortly!!!

Please attention all mails to DERRICK CHEW, Casting Director - Hue Stripes Production.

d coldness of the world.

2005-06-09T22:43:00.000+08:00

The man came home from work late again, tired and irritated, to find his 5 year old son waiting for him at the door.

“Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?” asked the son.

“That’s none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.

“I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” pleaded the little boy.

“If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour.”

“Oh,” the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, “Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?”

The father was furious! “No! I don't work long, hard hours everyday so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense! Go straight to your bedroom!"

After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe he really did need to buy something with that $10.00. And he seldom asked for money very often anyway.

The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.“Son, I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the man.

“It’s been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here’s that $10.00 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, beaming. “Oh, thank you daddy!” he yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills.

The man, seeing the boy already had some money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man.

“Why did you want more money if you already had some?” the father grumbled.

“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.

“Daddy, I have $20.00 now. Please, can I buy an hour of your time?”